and I heard them this morning... Kylee said "Ma Ma", when I was feeding her breakfast...
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And both of my girls are in their beds.. .present enough. The fire is crackling, the tree is still on and I feel cozy. I wish John didn't snore...
We have had an unbelievably blessed year. We have two beautiful Daughters that couldn't be more spoiled. Ithink about the people that are outside in the cold right now, and I wish I could help them all. There is a couple that appear to be in their fifties that I see on my way to work every day. I wonder if they are warm or if they have children that wonder how they are. The man wears a reflective vest, which I presume is to keep them from getting hit while crossing the street. That is all I ever see them doing. This time of year I wish I had enough to give to all of them. All I can do is wish them enough, and pray that God will somehow take care of the rest.
I hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas. Kiss your babies if you have them, and say a prayer for the less fortunate. I only hope that one day I can do more...
Love. Good night.
A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's rest-room stall.
By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker.
He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished
the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but
never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the
rest-room. If you'd been one of the ladies in the rest-room that evening, this is what
you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the
potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what
are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom
when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they
all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl,
Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see
doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh .. Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat
is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a
screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting
embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.
Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you
can find some candy. We"ll both have some!"
"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this
point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making
me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!"
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed
the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: "OK.
There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that
those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone."
"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies!
Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off.
Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What
were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?"
More laughter.
I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He
started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want
to go out!!"
I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door,
and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall,
all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment,
then I thought, "Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed
away every bit of my dignity and privacy?"
But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap
between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known
as Mommy to this little fellow.
(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in
Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public restrooms)
Well.. that is sort of the question. Last week, my V.P. and I had a "heated" but controlled discussion about an issue that was facing our team. At one point that day, he had tried to find me and couldn't. The people on our team that I manage know that if I am not at my desk, then I am pumping. I take my laptop with me and answer emails immediately. The V.P. usually knows this, but because he's hyper and a little ADD, it frustrated him that he needed to talk to me and didn't want to knock on the door to interrupt. Emailing would mean sitting down and stopping motion... that's hard to accomplish as hyper as he is. IT is a crazy world. SO, I starting thinking that my pumping was starting to become an "issue". He said not to use work as an excuse at all, BUT it's life... I think every pumping career Mom has to face this relative impasse. If I weren't in Management, I think I would be able to continue at the pumping pace that I am going - no problem. The fact that I am on the Management team requires me to be as accessible as I possibly can at all times. Seems it should work the other way, but it doesn't. Kylee needs to start making the transition to more solids anyway, so I have decided to at least cut my production in half. I'm pretty sad about it, but I am just exhausted every day.
Kayden is starting to become a Mommy's girl, and Kylee is of course very high-maintenance right now, so I need all the energy that I can get. Hopefully, I can replace the milk with solid food for her (at least half of it), and I won't necessarily have to put her on formula. Nothing wrong with formula, but if I don't have to buy anything else, that makes all the difference. I have noticed that my body is trying to lose weight, and I am becoming more run-down. It started doing this at about 8 months with Kayden. The only difference with Kayden was that my production dramatically decreased at 8 months, so it was a little easier to make the argument to myself that it was o.k. This time, I think I just have to realize that I'm not the supermom that I want to be. I would love to have two kiddos under 4, have a full time Management job, pump every three hours, work out every day and keep a pristine house, all while making sure that my third adult "child" is happy, BUT - I'm just not sure I can do it all. I think I'll have more energy if I at least cut my production in half, and I will for sure feel more freedom. The key to all of it is doing it and not getting sick again. Other than that, I think it will be more emotional for me than for her..... ANYWAY
We had the Harms' Christmas this weekend. It's pretty cool that this was my last year as a wanna-be. We had a great time, and the girls played so much. Kylee was an angel and everyone loved her :-) Here are some pictures from the weekend:
We were headed to Party Time, and Kayden lost what little sausage she ate :-( Other than being freaked-out again and grossed-out, she was fine. She didn't have a fever, and Kylee was smiling through the whole ordeal. I took her car seat completely apart and hosed it down, and I took Lynda's car and cleaned it out. 
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.
My little readers!
At the reunion.....
want her to be Tinkerbell for Halloween, because Robert (her bestest friend ever) is going to be Peter Pan. I mean, I like Dora and all, but I want some cute pictures haha. Kayden and Robert were Raggedy Ann and Andy last year, and I made her costume. Uh, not sure that's going to work this year... I'll maybe make Kylee's ... OH MY GOSH, I just thought that I should probably make Kylee into Dora's little monkey-sidekick BOOTS! Hmm...Well, I need to get to cleaning, and I'm going to listen to a sermon while I do it. I've been following the pastor's sermons at A&M UMC online, and I really really like his message. I'm probably going to join that church, before we are married there, and Sunday feel so much better, when I either read or listen to a sermon... so I'm off to do the dishes with the Lord lol
I'll post more later.
Oh, and here's the A&M UMC link, in case anyone wants to listen to his sermons either through Windows Media Player or Podcast. You can just read the transcript (much faster ;-)) also.
I have a teething hangover.... Kylee is sleeping in 1 1/2 hour increments. I'm sure her little gums are hurting her, but it's making me a zombie. She has the classic symptoms:
I think I need a sign on my forehead that says: "Sleeping.. do not disturb.."
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. ~Carl Sandburg
So, I think I still want to buy a shirt that says, "I make milk. What's your superpower?" I saw it online when I was pregnant, and I thought it was hilarious. Said "superpower" waned for a bit last week, but it has now recovered. After Chuck and Pepper's wedding, I was pretty sick. I made it to work on Monday and Tuesday, but from Tuesday night on, I was in bed. Long story short, I had a GI virus that started the whole thing. That cute little GI virus weakened my immune system to the point that the mastitis that I had been trying to out-run, caught up with me and smacked me in the face. John took me to the hospital on Thursday, because walking was no longer my mode of transportation. I had to either crawl or John had to carry me wherever I went. Yep, the bathroom, too... and the bed to the bathroom is maybe 15 feet. Not good. By the time I got to the ER, my temp. was a 103, I had chills, a migraine, I was dizzy, and I was starting to become pretty confused.... My blood work showed bacteria in my blood, so I was on IV antibiotics until Saturday. I am now taking 875 mg. of Augmentin twice a day.. FUN FUN! SO, needless to say, I really haven't had the easiest time of things for the past week or so, but I feel better than I have in months. I think I am still running on about 7 of my 8 cylinders, but we're working on that last one.
I picked up my dress last week, which was a very cool moment... I tried it on at the shop and Kylee was with me. When I put it on, she looked up at me and smiled... that was all the affirmation that I needed. I am completely in love with it. It's perfect. I tried it on again last night, and I had Robin help me put it on. I felt like a little girl playing dress-up... it's such a surreal, albeit amazing, feeling to know that this is the dress that I have pictured since I was a little girl... I was one of those little girls that had my wedding planned out at 5 years old....
I have the girls' dresses, too... little monsters... they are going to look so pretty, and I am just going to lose it, when I see them...
Kylee is starting to babble... I'm sure she's going to get my motor-mouth...
Kayden is about to have her THIRD birthday. She's such a big girl. I can't believe she's already 3. What a blessing she is. That reminds me... I need to go reserve her bounce house for her party.... Here's some pictures of the Kyleemeister..
Well, so I didn't have time yesterday to finish explaining about how horrible the motel was or what that experience was like... but how dare I bitch about that... Today is September 11th. I made a conscious decision to wear all black today. There are flags dotting the streets here in downtown Fort Worth, and I feel like we were luck, as crappy as it was, to be able to breathe fresh air this weekend and look forward to going home to our kids. We weren't stuck on a hijacked plane. We were breathing smoke inside an inferno, and we weren't free-falling down the side of a building. All we had to deal with were a couple of bugs. How ungrateful we didn't even realize we were being.
Today, six years ago, I was laying on my couch in Stephenville. I was probably hung-over. I didn't have anything "real" to worry about that day, other than the fact that I had skipped yet another Animal Science class. Then...
I think I turned on my TV to watch the Today show. The first plane had already hit, and they were saying it was a bomb. I just laid there for the next two days glued to the TV. I hated my degree plan and pretty much life at the time, so it seemed like a good idea. I couldn't process why someone would want to do this, and I think I became a little jaded in a way after that. You want to believe that everyone is born inherently good, and those that become murderers just go wrong somewhere along the way. These terrorists or murderers seemed like they had been "bred" in a way to do this. Actually, I think that was the intention, if I remember correctly. Since then, I think that we as a country have forgotten. Tell someone that they have forgotten 9/11 and watch them bristle. When it was all happening, you couldn't have convinced anyone that someday it wouldn't be in the forefront of everyone's mind.. always... but it happens. People move on and graduate... get married... have kids... or in our case have kids and then plan a wedding... change jobs... change their perspective... and naturally wounds heal. The problem is.. we are still sending boys who have graduated out to fight for what happened to their nation when they were 12. Some of those boys won't get the chance that we have had... to graduate... to get married... to have kids... and if they do... their kids will grow up not really understanding all of it.
I guess I was just struck this morning by the fact that our streets are lined with beautiful flags today, and patriotism is running rampant. But, what about tomorrow? Will those flags fly tomorrow? I just asked an open question at work about what a couple of people thought about it, and one answer was that they would be stolen if they were left out. Another answer was that they would start ripping and fall out of the holders... blah blah.... I just am bothered by the fact that we are only remembering because it is the "right" thing to do, but not because we just ... do. Make any sense? So, I made the decision to wear black today. No, I don't think I should wear black and carry a flag around everyday. Nor do I think that we should talk about it all the time or have tributes weekly or something crazy like that... I DO think that we need to make sure that we don't ever forget ...
More later...
So, we went to the Kroll wedding. Let me first say that it was a beautiful wedding, and we had a great time. The setting was in the back of a beautiful country home, and you could hear the river running in the background during the ceremony. Pepper looked awesome, of course. I cried when I saw the flower girls walking down the aisle... All I could think was that my girls will be doing that very thing for me in less than a year. I was sniffling like a baby. I had to let my nose run though, since I didn't want anyone to think I was a retard... However, Mr. Hunting Shirt (some dude was wearing a hunting t-shirt with some dumb saying on it) in front of me was probably the only one that could hear me other than Carrie. Anyway, I was touched and sweaty, and hoping upon hope that my deodorant would come through for me. I never got any complaints, so I guess I didn't stink.
I'll post more later, after I finish my work day. Stress....
I'll also explain about the roach friends we met at the hotel.... gross...
You know, people look like ants from this high up.
I moved into my new cube on Friday, and I'm lovin' it. We can have meetings in here, which was my goal. I am t-minus two employees today, so it's pretty quiet. The calm before the storm.
According to John, Kayden isn't so keen on Miss Danita's class. She didn't want him to leave, which makes me really sad. She loves her old teacher, but I'm sure she'll love Danita. She's a funny chick.
We had a great weekend. Kayden and Kylee got to meet Miss Emmaline. She thought Kylee's head was pretty tasty.
I'll post more later... ah, pseudo-Mondays... after a holiday.... gross
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