I haven't posted in a while, because I haven't felt like I had the time. This has been such a hard month really for us...

Without going through the details, I just believe that God will make sure that we are all protected through his GRACE. It's such a beautiful thing. I know that there are so many others that are so much worse off than we are. I emailed the Tarrant County Food Bank this morning, asking what we could do as a family. I want to volunteer. I want my girls to know that presents aren't everything. I am worried that they are going to take the excess for granted. They are always spoiled by their grandparents. While I am beyond grateful for that, I am afraid that the true meaning of Christmas is lost in the wrapping paper and bows... giving... Even when we have nothing, we have something to give. I am determined beyond words to teach my girls to feel that...

Kayden's teacher, Mrs. Bev, gave me a little insight into Kayden's heart this morning. Every two days or so, we have an issue with Kayden being either disrespectful by not listening or challenging to Bev's assistant, Kim. Bev never has a problem with her, and I don't say that lightly. She will put her in her place, and Kayden knows it. Kim is not so lucky. Kayden is very possessive of her classroom at school. She has the routine and rules down pat. Any time that anyone else is in charge of the room, she becomes the resident critic. She becomes upset if things aren't done the way that BEV does them. She then becomes very challenging to deal with. She is very loyal, to say the least. Bev has had this figured out, but was sure of the motivation, after yesterday. The Kindergarten teacher had to take over the class in the late afternoon for Kim, because she was out sick. Kayden was instantly bothered. While I never want her to be disrespectful, I adore her loyalty. Her alpha-teacher was gone, so she assumed the position. In her little mind, nothing would go unnoticed or be permitted that wasn't exactly what she thought Bev would do. How fascinating, really, that a four-year-old has such conviction. She was fine by the time John picked her up, but she made sure that the room had been "run" the way she thought was the right way. The next day, she went and apologized to the Kindergarten teacher without anyone asking her to. Noone asked her to. I think that is the part that blows me away. Maybe it is normal for a child that age to feel like she needed to apologize, but I wouldn't think that would happen in their development yet. I don't know... I guess I am proud that her heart is in the right place, and she knows what is right and wrong. She feels regret and remorse. My own heart swells when I hear that she has been motivated to do something from her heart.

We were at the Harms' Christmas this past weekend, and she got two presents that were the same. She immediately said, "That's o.k, Kylee can have this one." about one of them. While the fact that she got two of the same was a mistake, she still thought of her sister. I'm just so proud.

I want to, for lack of a better word, harness that giving spirit in her. I don't know if Kylee has that as strongly, and I don't know if I will know that about her for a while. I know that both of them will be sweet, because they will always be the best little angels in the world, to me. BUT... I want them to have

...a SERVANT'S HEART....

In the next couple of weeks, we are going to volunteer somewhere. I'm not sure what we will do, but I will find something. We can't give money or gifts, but we can give time and effort.

We can give our hearts.

Maybe it will teach my girls that presents aren't everything. Or, maybe they already know that, and they will give me the best Christmas present ever.