I am just at a loss for words to describe how the Lord decides to speak to me. He usually sneaks up on me when I least expect it and wallops me over the head. I have always had a relationship with Him, and His new boldness is almost refreshing.

I woke up a few minutes ago with the inability to swallow without sharp pain in my throat. John is still up, and he walked through to get a late night (or early morning) snack. I asked him to get the Aleve from my console in my Tahoe, because I'm not sure I can go back to sleep. I went to the Minute Clinic in CVS for a strep test, which came back negative, but I'm not convinced. The practicioner thought that I had a viral infection that seems to be harboring in Saginaw. I believe she said I was about the tenth person with the same symptoms; pain in the neck, swollen glands, almost impossible to swallow, body aches like the flu, headache, ear ache... Oh, and I do have fluid behind my left ear which would explain the latter of the symptoms. I have been nauseous and then these symptoms started yesterday some time, and I was thinking that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Then.. He did it to me again.

I was surfing around any message board to try and Google for some sort of intelligent answer to my symptoms, and I found this blog post. I have read her blog before, and she is a gifted writer.

He speaks through her.

He just did it to me.

My measly sore throat doesn't seem to matter that much anymore.

Kayden had RSV. She turned purple a couple of times, and it took the doctors what seemed like an eternity to help her. She was on breathing treatments and steroids from the time she was six weeks old to about eight months old.

She was one of the lucky ones.

Kylee has bronchiolitis right now. We took her to the clinic in College Station this weekend, and the doctor said it could possibly be RSV and to watch her to see if her symptoms worsen. I just heard her cough. Writing that, I am reminded that He is laying there with her, and will let me know when I need to go in there and get her in some way. I have to trust that...

As I was about a month or so ago... I am grateful for His timing.

Oh what a blessed, eventful week!

Our Christmas was nothing less than wonderful. The girls were so excited. Kayden got her first doll house from Santa, and Kylee got her first potty. I say first, because if this one hadn't been a hit, I would have tried another model... maybe with more bells and whistles. This is the run-of-the-mill cushy seat. She seems to get a kick out of sitting on it, though. She has yet to make any contributions to the potty god, but we're working on it. I'm borrowing a friend's suggestion to just put it in the same room as she is in at the time, and not really make a big deal of it being there. I do have a little bit of a vested interest in her completion of her potty training milestone, I must confess, and I can't help but ask her a million times if she wants to sit on it. She obliges every time I ask, so hopefully this won't take too terribly long.

I have been wanting an inside dog since John and I started living together oh some six years ago. He has always said no, and while I am very capable of overriding that decision, I have decided to respect that. I asked him last year what it would take to have a dog in the house, and he said if they were both potty trained that we would be able to get one. Well... Kylee is working on it, so I am holding him to it!

The week before Christmas was pretty busy, as well. I moonlight as a floor tiler. ... Ok, not really, but I can tile floor. I went and tiled my Mom's kitchen for her the weekend before Christmas, and that was a whirlwind. Tiling is actually pretty fun. I moved her fridge and stove out. It was the craziest thing... the stove was about 32 years old, and I guess they used to nail stoves to the adjacent cabinets, because I had to pry it out. Thank goodness my parents had taken the girls to the park, or I think my Mom would have had a heart attack watching me wrestle with it. Another thank goodness was that she didn't want me to put it back in. I don't think I would have... The only snafu was that we had to go and get another wet saw about halfway through. The saw that I had started sparking, even with full water, and it was driving me nuts. At the end of the weekend, my Mom was much happier with a cleaner-looking floor, and I was happy that they were able to spend time with the girls. The drive wasn't the best, but it was a small price to pay.

I was sick at the beginning of the week, and all I could do was get the girls to school and back. I'm sure my boss was none too happy, but I'm working all day today (save for writing this blog) to make up for any time I lost.

I am also in the midst of rotating out toys, without being obvious about it. I think that is the hardest part. Even if the girls don't play with whatever I decide to put up, it still bothers me to take their toys away.... Yes, they have shiny, new, age-appropriate ones to replace the old, but I still feel bad. Kylee is getting to the baby doll and stroller age, thus creating a little conflict with her older and similarly stubborn sister. I had to negotiate my first truce over a tiny little baby this morning. I offered four "big" babies to Kylee, and she wasn't biting. It took a Hungry Hippo game and careful diversion to get Kayden's doll back. Why they both decided to argue over THAT doll is beyond me. I am contemplating reading The Art of War, just to brush-up on my negotiation skills...

SOOOO - As I was writing this blog, I took a potty break with Kylee, and she finally tee-teed in her new potty!!! YAAAAY! Ok, so there is hope for an early '09 puppy.... I'm feeling it .

Here are a few pictures from the past week...

Kayden "driving" with Pa Pa through Santa's Wonderland:

The above picture was Christmas morning.

I haven't posted in a while, because I haven't felt like I had the time. This has been such a hard month really for us...

Without going through the details, I just believe that God will make sure that we are all protected through his GRACE. It's such a beautiful thing. I know that there are so many others that are so much worse off than we are. I emailed the Tarrant County Food Bank this morning, asking what we could do as a family. I want to volunteer. I want my girls to know that presents aren't everything. I am worried that they are going to take the excess for granted. They are always spoiled by their grandparents. While I am beyond grateful for that, I am afraid that the true meaning of Christmas is lost in the wrapping paper and bows... giving... Even when we have nothing, we have something to give. I am determined beyond words to teach my girls to feel that...

Kayden's teacher, Mrs. Bev, gave me a little insight into Kayden's heart this morning. Every two days or so, we have an issue with Kayden being either disrespectful by not listening or challenging to Bev's assistant, Kim. Bev never has a problem with her, and I don't say that lightly. She will put her in her place, and Kayden knows it. Kim is not so lucky. Kayden is very possessive of her classroom at school. She has the routine and rules down pat. Any time that anyone else is in charge of the room, she becomes the resident critic. She becomes upset if things aren't done the way that BEV does them. She then becomes very challenging to deal with. She is very loyal, to say the least. Bev has had this figured out, but was sure of the motivation, after yesterday. The Kindergarten teacher had to take over the class in the late afternoon for Kim, because she was out sick. Kayden was instantly bothered. While I never want her to be disrespectful, I adore her loyalty. Her alpha-teacher was gone, so she assumed the position. In her little mind, nothing would go unnoticed or be permitted that wasn't exactly what she thought Bev would do. How fascinating, really, that a four-year-old has such conviction. She was fine by the time John picked her up, but she made sure that the room had been "run" the way she thought was the right way. The next day, she went and apologized to the Kindergarten teacher without anyone asking her to. Noone asked her to. I think that is the part that blows me away. Maybe it is normal for a child that age to feel like she needed to apologize, but I wouldn't think that would happen in their development yet. I don't know... I guess I am proud that her heart is in the right place, and she knows what is right and wrong. She feels regret and remorse. My own heart swells when I hear that she has been motivated to do something from her heart.

We were at the Harms' Christmas this past weekend, and she got two presents that were the same. She immediately said, "That's o.k, Kylee can have this one." about one of them. While the fact that she got two of the same was a mistake, she still thought of her sister. I'm just so proud.

I want to, for lack of a better word, harness that giving spirit in her. I don't know if Kylee has that as strongly, and I don't know if I will know that about her for a while. I know that both of them will be sweet, because they will always be the best little angels in the world, to me. BUT... I want them to have

...a SERVANT'S HEART....

In the next couple of weeks, we are going to volunteer somewhere. I'm not sure what we will do, but I will find something. We can't give money or gifts, but we can give time and effort.

We can give our hearts.

Maybe it will teach my girls that presents aren't everything. Or, maybe they already know that, and they will give me the best Christmas present ever.

So, I finished Twilight in two nights, and it was a really good read. I am thinking I will read the rest of the series by Sunday. John is out of town on a business trip, so it will be a little quieter around the house... of course, that is always relative. I don't associate vampires with Satan, by the way, so I don't feel like I'm evil for reading the series. I just think it's a good story, so I'll leave it at that.

We decided to decorate the house last night, and it was truly the perfect series of little moments that I hope my girls logged in their memory banks. Kayden wanted some spaghetti, so I hurriedly cooked some, folded two loads of laundry and washed the dishes. All the while, John was up in the attic, no doubt rearranging some of our junk and castaway toys that hopefully have memories banked with them, as well. He and Kayden finally emerged from the garage, tree in tow, and we set to it. Kylee immediately repurposed the tree box as a play pen, and it was such a joy to watch her little face getting so excited at every little decoration that we pulled out.

I tuned into streaming Christmas music on my laptop, and the girls had a ball decorating the tree. Once that was up, we moved to the dining table to explore the boxes with the light-up train and stockings. Both of the girls thought that the best way to get everything out was to stand on the table and pull it all out all around them. I didn't care at all; it was the cutest scene to watch. This is really Kylee's first year to actually pay attention to all of the excitement, and her reaction to it all didn't disappoint. She would gasp and say "Ligh ligh!" for lights, "twee!", "baw!", "sock!".. it was fun.

I think we created a special night that I will certainly try to replicate next year, and hopefully it will be our new little Harms family tradition... Kylee sits in the box, they climb up on the table and strew the decorations everywhere, eat the old candy canes out of the bottom of the decoration box, and jump around to carols. The tree is already sporting the first few ornaments that they have made, and a few others that are sentimental.

They both got a turn trying to put the angel in her place. She's built a little weird at the bottom (not that there's anything wrong with that), but Kylee really did try her best, and Kayden was being such a ham.

I taught myself how to read...

... when I was little with Hooked on Phonics. Ever since then, I have loved to read; I just haven't had the time. I picked up Twilight this past weekend, and I made the time last night. It is compelling, to say the least. I started it last night, and I only lack about 100 pages. I was so tired, but I wanted to finish it so badly! I will update on what I think of the first of the series.

My favorite book series has to be the Left Behind series, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. I have read all of them, and they are fantastic. Basically, they fictionalize (based upon scripture though, of course) the Rapture, Armageddon, the Antichrist and the Second Coming of Christ. If you haven't read them, you should. They are NOT "preachy" and are an easy read. I think my second favorite author is John Grisham, by far.

Anyway, I am planning to read the whole Twilight series, before seeing the movie.

I just realized how random this post was.