Cornerstone....

... I'm going to start building mine. While I am usually kind, I think the normal kindness that I demonstrate might not be enough. Day two IS more challenging, but I am up for it.

I am working on finishing my sixth week of unemployment. Being at home is work in itself. Looking for a job is a job. I have reduced the days that the girls go to school to just Tuesday and Thursday, so that I may have at least a couple of days for interviews. Everyone's story is the same. I was walking through Walmart this morning on a grocery run, and a lady in Electronics said that the only reason she was working there was the fact that she was the product of a layoff. There is a strange kinship among us. It seems we are taking over the majority... or at least we are gravitating together in some odd way. I seem to run into a couple people every place that I go with a similar story as mine. What's scary is that you never know when it will hit. I think I crammed more groceries in my basket than anyone has ever accomplished in the history of grocery cramming. While I have great recruiters working with me and I have an awesome resume' and work history, I am worried about tomorrow. Will John still have his job? What is sad about that is he is doing Loss Mitigation... They have more work than they know what to do with. It is the right economy for that industry.

It was also funny, because I saw two different fire departments there doing their grocery shopping.... I so wanted to ask them if they had watched Fireproof. I am certain they would have thought that I was a lunatic, and they wouldn't have been far off. And even with all of this happening around me, I am so comforted. I still KNOW that we will be fine.

It is FAITH.

GRACE.

Prayer...

It makes you wonder if there is a divine reason for ALL of this. I looked for Fireproof. It was sold out. A Christian movie was sold out. I was blown away. And inspired.

One of these days we will be sitting at dinner and all of our kids will be in college. We will be sipping on margaritas and reflecting... and we will realize what we did right and what we did wrong. Maybe we will end up weathering this without a scar... or maybe they will run deep. But at least for us, I will be sure that our girls are oblivious to the state our nation is in right now. I don't want them to learn this lesson by watching us struggle, but by remembering that we spent more time at home doing cool family stuff than anything else. They don't need to know that the at home part is because of a recession. And, to me, I think it's bordering on depression. I really do. We don't have bread lines, but we have job lines.

I'll be back in the workforce soon. I will miss the fingerpainting on the carpet and walls. I will miss sleeping in with my girls till 8... I will feel guilty about that. But we will be better. We will come out of this stronger. I have faith.