The Harms

My background should no longer be black.

2011-11-09T22:05:00.002-06:00

...but it has been. And this blog has been silent. For a year. Funny, that I feel the need to blog again, after a year... Seasons of life, I guess.

The girls are 7 and 4 1/2. I have read back through some of my previous posts, and I'm so glad they are there. I feel like now I've lost a year of that. I'm going to try and not do the same this year.

As usual, a lot has happened in this year. 2011. I got my dream job. I work for Disney. It's as magical as one would imagine. It takes genius to make the magic. I am just helping the genius.. I am not said genius. I will say that I am blown away by the complexity and intensity of this job. Lord, help me keep up.

John has made me a hunting widow this week. Miley had surgery twice this month, and she has also earned her way out of our family. She snapped at Hardy over food. Kylee was in the way, and her knee was bleeding. She's going to find a new family to love. She is awesome. I pray that they realize that.

So the stats on the girls... Kayden is in First Grade. Kylee is home with me every day, and she is so smart. I am amazed by the two of them. I had no idea that I would ever make something so beautiful, and that it would be so perfect. Twice.

It's hard to summarize a year, you know? My photography is gradually growing, also. I was commissioned to do and sold an album to a firm decorating the inside of the Applebees that will be built down the road... whoa. I fell into that one. She Googled, found me, loved my work and called. I'm proud of it, but it's fleeting. I have to do a bigger and better project.. Always pushing...

Kayden is on a select softball team and is in voice. She is doing well with both...

Kylee is going to be a vet. No doubt. She is so loving and caring. She wears her heart outside of her body. She really is a little angel.

Sleep is calling. Pixie dust needs to be refueled (that's what they call it at work, when you are happy about anything Disney..), so I'm out. But, nice to see you again, blog world. I'll try to do this every day.. again... love. blessings and be nice to each other.

2010-10-31T10:27:00.002-05:00

Haven't posted in ages. A lot of things have happened in the Harms family. We've done some inventory, and we are stronger, better and happier. This has been the worst and best year of our lives. We're starting over and it's great. The problem is that there are some around us that think they know better, and are negative.

I can't stand negative people. I think they make me angry. I'm at a point in my life, where I could care less about what people think. I certainly need to vent that, and this is the only constructive way I could think of. Funny.

I think, since we have a good thing going with the reconstruction of the Harms' household, I need to reconstruct my friends and family circle. The family that I am supposed to have has done it to me, so I will do it to them. I used to try and ignore the fact that some "family" was blatantly rude, but I won't anymore. If you leave me out, I will stop wasting energy on you. If you would like to give your two cents,then you better pay the entire bill. You all think you live in glass houses, so start throwing stones all you want.

Furious? Yes. Is it because I am growing up or something and becoming centered? Probably some of that and some exhaustion.

Anyway, I am running three marathons this season. I'm excited. I'll make sure to write about the craziness.

For now, have a Happy Halloween.

Crazy Month

2009-12-23T10:54:00.006-06:00

This month has felt nuts. The girls are great. Kayden is having sporadic growing pains. Rubbing her legs and putting her in a warm bath seems to temporarily help. She usually wakes up in the middle of the night, and the cramps are so bad that she cries :-(. She's a tough kiddo, so I'm sure it hurts. I remember my growing pains being terrible, and John had horrible growing pains. She's eating a ton, and she really has the cutest sassy little personality. My favorite thing about her is that she has a huge heart. Last night, she kept saying that she didn't want Kylee to sleep in her room with her, and that she wanted to sleep in her bed by herself. No more than 10 minutes after she was in her room, she came out and asked Kylee if she was going to be quiet if she let her sleep in her room. Of course Kylee said she would, and Kayden asked her to come and sleep with her. I LOVE how much they love each other.

Kylee is talking a blue streak. She really has been speaking in sentences for about a year or more, but she really is funny now. I got up this morning, and she said "Now, why are you getting up?", and she turned her little hand up and cocked her head to the side. She's shy about talking around other people, and she even takes a LONG time to warm up to family. Finally, all of her teeth have cut her gums. I think the only ones that are not actually "in" are her top teeth after her canines. Not having all her teeth all the way in certainly doesn't stop her from eating. Her favorite thing to eat ALL the time is a Honey Bun. She calls them "Honey Bunnies". We slowly but steadily have weaned her off of her sippy cup. She doesn't need to drink anything to go to sleep at night, and I (and my dentist bill) am grateful for that. She's now drinking out of a big girl cup all of the time, and she doesn't have a problem with it at all. Whew.

Both girls wear "night time panties" a.k.a. pull-ups at night. I'm not sure why Kayden still has accidents. At this point if we remind her to use the restroom before she goes to bed and during the night, she usually doesn't have an accident. I still have her wear her night time panties at night, though. If not, my washer and dryer would get a workout! Kylee is still wearing them at night, but there have been quite a few nights that she wakes up dry lately. Maybe there IS light at the end of the potty tunnel!

Kayden is getting to where she loves to pick out her own clothes, and if I were to have picked out the same thing, she wouldn't wear it ;-). Echoes of my childhood and teenage years, for sure. I don't mind at all, though. She needs to have the freedom to figure out her own little style. Pretty neat.

John went and got a physical, and everything came out fine. I was surprised, I have to say, because of how much he smokes. I'm glad he's so healthy.

As for me, I ran my marathon. It was the most incredible experience. The last quarter of the race forces you to dig deep into who you are as a person. Training or not, at that point it is up to you and God. It is spiritual, for sure. Your legs are done. They have made the transition from tired to exhausted to numb to shear pain. Every step tests what you are "made of". It's not for the weak of mind, that's for sure. You have to override the natural instinct to protect yourself and stop running. When I finished, the first thing I wanted to do was plan my next marathon. I'm in recovery right now, and my first recovery run will be today. I need to strengthen my hamstrings. That group of three muscles is really the only group that was killing me in the days after. I highly recommend that everyone tries to complete a marathon at some point. The life lessons learned in that 3 to 4 hours are invaluable, and there is no way to describe it.

So that brings me to Christmas. I. Can't. WAIT! Kayden is getting a DSi this year, and she is going to freak out. It was a last-minute thing that she asked for. In fact, we didn't realize she was serious about it until this picture that John took of the white board in her class room:

A Reminder

2009-12-10T08:46:00.000-06:00

Romans 5:1-11

Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. (2) Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. (3) We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us---they help us learn to endure. (4) And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. (5) And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. (6) When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. (7) Now, no one is likely to die for a good person, though someone might be willing to die for a person who is especially good. (8) But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (9) And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, He will certainly save us from God's judgment. (10) For since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of His Son while we were still His enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by His life. (11) So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God---all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God.

2009-10-23T15:44:00.001-05:00

2009-10-23T15:39:00.002-05:00

I saw BELLA!

2009-10-23T13:31:00.004-05:00

Kelli made the outfit she is wearing. I got to hold her, too, neee ner nee ner! The hospital was taking pictures when I walked in, so the timing couldn't have been perfect for me to take a few of my own. We're going to go back tonight with the girls to see her, again. She is beautiful, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, just beautiful :-)

The "C word".

2009-10-10T10:09:00.002-05:00

My new Brother-in-Law, Jason, has cancer. It is one stage away from aggressive. I have all the faith in the world that he will beat this. Please say a prayer.

Saturday Morning

2009-10-10T09:14:00.005-05:00

Today is a good day :-) I have my little urchins destroying the house, and Dora chanting to me about sticky tape. It's chilly outside and I'm drinking coffee. We're discussing what everyone needs to be for Halloween, between eating french toast and feeding Stella pretzels. She, by the way, will be a lady bug.

We are going to go on a costume-finding mission today. John is hunting, so we pretty much can do what we want. I am also going to try and get Kayden's bed moved into the middle bedroom. Her room is going to be pink, black and white... not really Paris-y or Poodle-y, but it should turn out how she wants. I'll have to post pictures of the finished product. We got her a flat screen for her birthday, and that room has the U Verse. So, I'm going to work on the parental controls on the tv and some wall painting... today... I think.

Kayden can count, or "skip count" as she says, by 5s and 10s. Even though her teacher doesn't impress me, she's learning. Kylee is learning how to be a bully. I'm thinking it has to do with the fact that she's one of three girls in a room of 12 kiddos. Hopefully, it's not her nature and it will go away... girlfriend and I will have to go toe-to-toe!

I mounted my blades to my boots last week, but didn't go and have them sharpened. The man that is doing it is a coach and Southwestern Regionals are at his rink. I figured I'd give him the duration of the competition and then bug the heck out of him.

Kayden had her 5th birthday party at the bowling alley last weekend, and it was a hit!

She got tons of clothes, the flat screen I mentioned, Barbie stuff and I think one or two Hannah Montana things... it was hard to keep track. She had a Bratz cake, which was random. She's not a Bratz fan, so I think it was because there were cute little girly toys on it. Here are some pictures.... I can't believe we own a 5-year-old. She's a rock star.

FREAKING BLADES, DUDE!

2009-09-30T13:18:00.003-05:00

I am so flipping excited that I don't know what to do.

I got my blades in last night. I haven't skated in forever, but I want to get back out there. Mostly, because I have the opportunity now, and I just love it. I can't believe I allowed myself to be off the ice this long. It's part of my DNA. I am not joking.

SOOOOO, there is a rink right down the road from my work. I walked in today to ask when the freestyle sessions were. I got to talking to what I have surmised was the coaching or staff manager, and she offered me a job to teach little ones on Tuesday evening and on Saturday afternoon. I won't be paid, but I will get free ice time, and I am IN HEAVEN. I can go skate during lunch, and it will be dead.... meaning, that no one will more than likely be on the ice, but me... every skater's dream. Normally, ice time is 7 dollars every 30 minutes.

The man that will sharpen my blades is supposed to call me today, when he comes in. You can't let just anyone sharpen the type of blades that I have. There is a rocker that would get flattened in the wrong hands, and it would be dangerous for an uneven sharpening.

My hands are shaking. Adrenaline.

I'll be on the ice again, soon. I'll be able to take my girls.

I am working closer to coming full-circle. The fog of my depression gets lighter and lighter to reveal the most beautiful life. I am so grateful. I have been meaning to blog about my depression. I believe that I now, and will from now on, have the upper-hand. I was diagnosed a few years ago as clinically depressed. SURPRISE! that's quite hilarious... it's like "ok, finally... geez"... sometimes it just takes you to hit whatever bottom is for you. Thankfully, it was only emotional, and not physically destructive. Some people aren't so lucky... more about all of that later....

Since then, I have started to come out of the nasty depths of it all and live. It's baby steps, I tell you. Never would I have had the confidence to walk into that place and strike up a conversation with those two women that I chatted with today about skating. Some may say, "uh, yes you would... you talk to everyone".... well, that's the thing. I would have talked and it would have been over and I would have walked out with sharpened skates and that's it. I actually had the confidence to smile and ask questions and laugh.... wow, a genuine laugh is so taken for granted... and I walked out with an opportunity....

I am fired-up. Hopefully, it will work out, and I can take the girls and John skating. They can get to know that part of me. Even John has never seen me skate. I was good, but we'll see how it goes. If nothing else, it's calming.

I also need prayer, and I can't speak of why at the moment. I have been informed that someone I know is going through a horrible time right now, and it will most surely only get worse. So, please, pray for healing and love and life for those that I know and love.

Semantics...

2009-09-29T11:46:00.002-05:00

Jesus doesn't give two flips about semantics. I posted on Facebook today that everyone should be happy, and I mean that. It's not hard. It's a choice. Maybe I should say positive. Would that be easier to understand? I get put-off by people that I hear complaining about this and that... I commented to John just the other day that my blisters on my feet hurt, but I was really glad that I had feet to gripe about. I mean, really. If your job sucks, go get a new one. If it takes a while to get a new one, at least you weren't at the one that sucked, right?

If your life sucks, get a new one, or look at yours from a different perspective. Choose for it to be a good life. It is NEVER that bad.

If you feel sorry for yourself, think of the girls in third-world countries that are castrated. Shocking imagery, I know, but geez. What does it take for people to be grateful.

Sound like a rant? I guess it is. I hear too many people being too negative, so I had to rant... and share... and just make a general "grow up, people" statement.

Quick picking on each other. Quit labeling and judging. Who cares if you had to work late. You have a job. Who cares if someone cut you off while you were driving. YOU ARE DRIVING, meaning that you're not blind or paralyzed... whatever it may be... Just relax people.

Life is a blessing. Too many people have been taken from me recently or the threat has been there for me not to have a perspective shift. It was always on the positive side. Want to know where all that comes from? Ask me. I don't talk about it anymore, but it is where all of this positive thinking started.

Life is a choice. All of it is. Choose to be happy or not. I won't list all the synonyms for happy and their connotations and associations, but the point is what matters.

STELLLLAAAAAH

2009-09-26T10:10:00.002-05:00

Here's a picture of Stella from this morning. I keep forgetting to upload a picture of her, so here it is.

Cheerleading is a sport. And it's getting scary.

2009-09-26T09:48:00.004-05:00

So, I read this article. I cheered in Jr. High and High School, and I was a base. I had guns to prove it. I think the only person that could stunt with me was the guy on our team, Danny. I was heavy.. ugh. Anyway, this article highlights the danger that cheerleaders deal with constantly. We weren't competitive squads, but we did stunts. And, we got hurt. Melinda tore her ACL. Cassie landed tailbone-first on my face and bloodied my nose. In a separate incident, my back cracked and I dropped Melinda during our practice for our Freshman Homecoming cheer. I was taken to the hospital lights and sirens. I think I probably milked the drama, because I was annoying that way, but it really did tear up my back. I had a back brace and muscle relaxers for about six months. I think that was either '93 or '94... I think. Anyway, had to vent. AND, one day I may forget those memories.

I have Kayden in ballet, and Kylee will most-likely follow. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought they would end up cheerleaders, but now this makes me really think!

Anyway, here's the article... I think the person that wrote this is being a little melodramatic, although it's a good article. And, man, I'm glad I'm not that annoying anymore...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/31/sports/31cheerleader.html?_r=1

2009-09-23T08:37:00.002-05:00

Yet, again, I am brought to my knees this morning, Lord. Please be with the Sullivan family today, and give Brady the strength to be the vessel through which the Lord will teach Chloe to be the servant her Mother was. Please wrap his heart with your grace and love, and surround him with all of the comfort and help his family and friends can muster.

http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/

I do not personally know Brady, but he graduated after me and I learned of their journey through old friends.

Settling...

2009-09-17T09:41:00.014-05:00

My soul seems to be settling a bit. It might sound strange, but I feel like my volume is turning down a little, and I'm listening more intently. Is this what happens when you turn 31? I don't know.

The girls are wonderful, and Kayden is almost 5! She is in private kindergarten at her school, and she is learning the most amazing things... like choo choos blow STEAM! This is how that conversation went...

Kayden: "Mommy, Mommy, listen!"

Me: "What, what..?"

Kayden: "This is important."

Me: "Ok." (Staring at her, as she was moving closer to my face.)

- She stops about an inch from my nose, wide-eyed and very serious.

Kayden: "CHOO-CHOOSSSS!" (Punctuated by a hand gesture of the "aha!" variety"

-pause-

...longer pause....

Kayden: "...blow steam..." in an almost inaudible whisper.

I cracked up. I'm not sure where she got it, but I'm thinking she was feeling pretty goofy, because the three of us girls (Kayden, Kylee and me) shared about a minute of belly-laughs. We then proceeded to name all the things that blow steam; not the least of which was Daddy that ended up being the most humorous of all.

Every moment with those two is becoming more and more hilarious. Lord knows we need the laughs. The past couple of months have been fraught with "ups and downs". I lost someone very important to me. She was instrumental in allowing me to have a normal and happy childhood. She died suddenly two years ago, and I just found out. I have had to grieve quietly. My girls are so in tune with my emotions, so I didn't want them to feel how awfully painful it is for me. It think that grief has been the catalyst for my increased introspection, as of late.

I am really focusing on our little family. Not that I wasn't before the past few months, but it is more pronounced as a priority for me. Sometimes we take the rhythm of life as a "given".... We don't realize that every breath is a gift. I am trying to focus on not missing any of it. It could be gone tomorrow, and I am so thankful for today.

My parents pulled an RV up to the lake this summer, so that they would have a nice place to relax when they visited. Not that out house wasn't relaxing or welcoming, but it's nice to not have kiddos attached to your every move. The four of us went out to the lake one weekend, and we made friends with the locals ;-)

That little white blurb in Kayden's arms is our new Maltese, Stella. She's awesome. The breeder was running a mill, I surmised later, because her ears were pretty dirty and she had urine stains on her paws and face. She has since been pampered and groomed. I had to have her shaved down to the skin, but her new coat is going to be gorgeous. She is sportin' a pink cable-knit sweater right now, but I'll take it off when her coat grows out a little more. It's actually coming in pretty fast. I'll have to post a recent picture, soon. She is about 6 months old now, (still waiting on papers - takes FOREVER), and she will be no bigger than about four or five pounds. Hardy tolerates her between accidentally stepping on her and being chased and nipped all over the place, so we at least are sure he won't eat her haha

Aside from all the family awesomeness, I am running more than I ever have in my life. My longest run is 16 miles, to date. I will be running 18 this weekend, so I need super prayers. I ran around the TAMU campus last weekend, and it was tough. The cool thing was that it was raining and somewhat cool... PERFECT running weather. The marathon is on December 13th, and I am just praying that it all goes well and injury-free. I have started a donation site for Ronald McDonald House Charities. The thought was that I would donate a dollar for every mile that I run, and then I figured why not allow others to donate, as well? So, before the marathon, I am going to try and donate as much as I can, and pray that it helps at least one family a little.

I am REALLY going to try and get back in the swing of blogging.... I want to be sure to remember every moment of this wonderful life ;-)

Well, certainly I didn't think it would take THIS long...

2009-07-25T12:18:00.002-05:00

... to get back into the swing of blogging. A TON has been going on, and I really think this is the first chance I have had to sit and do nothing... or sort of nothing. I mean, what kind of Mom would I be if I weren't multi-tasking five things, right? Nothing means that I'm making coffee, mac 'n cheese, mashed potatoes, cleaning the kitchen, blogging and uploading... realatively, though, that IS nothing.

So the girls have been sick for the past two days, and they finally took me down with them last night. Kylee is fine, but Kayden's temp is still running a little high today. High for her is 99.5. I think her basal is around 97. Ironically, this is the first weekend that we have been at home in at least a month, so naturally God would force us to relax by being sick, right? Nice. Anyway, at least we get to be here together and relax. And I can catch up on laundry. And clean. And mop. And scrub toilets. But, whatever.

We have been training for a marathon now for about four months. This is the schedule. We are on week 17, so I am running 4 today and 10 tomorrow. I should have been running 10 today, but I had to push it back, since it's not the smartest thing to run with fever. It's interesting what the human body can tolerate. 10 miles might seem horrendous, but it's just a matter of training. Anyone can do it that has even the slightest of motivation. Well, I have been told that I am a running freak, so I guess my take on motivation is relative. We are about to start the "real" schedule. I think the longest we'll have to run is 22 or 23 miles, and the culmination of all of this punishment will be hopefully finishing the White Rock Marathon. I'm excited. I'm not sure that John knew what he was getting into by agreeing to run this with me, but my sneaky plan of hoping it will induce him to slow down on smoking is working slightly. He is still smoking, but he's smoking lites now. Not that lites are really any better, but I'll take every baby step I can get. It's starting to kick him in the butt, whenW we run longer than five miles.

I've also realized that I have Amazon feet. Apparently, for each of your first two children, your foot gains half of a size. I am wearing big shoes. I was wearing a whole size too small for a couple of years it seems, so I am now literally investing in the right running shoes. My shoes also only last me around 300 miles, before my knees start screaming, which is two or three months, give or take. I have a Garmin, a Camelbak, a 4 to 1 carb to protein ratio drink and a stick. Who knew it took so much gear to train for a marathon. It's so worth it, though.

We don't really drink anymore for several reasons. How many partying married couples actually make it? A few, but not the majority. That was the primary reason. The effects of that decision have been multi-fold. Weight loss, energy, productiveness, health, blah blah... I also don't think it would help the training very much. Some of our friends have a hard time understanding, but it's just a decision for us. It's not something that will become an imposition by any means. We could care less what other couples do. I had a glass of wine at Dave and Della's reception, and I woke up hungover the next morning. I don't think my body likes it all that much! We're still fun without it... in fact probably more fun, so it's not something for anyone else to waste time stressing about. We can be around everyone else drinking and it doesn't matter. I think some of our couple friends will understand at some point. I think everyone gets there...

I will add a couple more posts today... One after I get the girls to take a nap, and one after my run, I'm hoping...

Hola.

2009-07-20T12:37:00.000-05:00

I have now returned to the blogging world, after an unintended hiatus. I will be posting pics and updates soon. I forgot the dumb camera cable at home, so I can't get anything uploaded right now.

How we roll...

2009-05-12T13:59:00.006-05:00

The Daddy Roll
The Mommy Roll
The Toddler Roll
The Big Girl Roll

2009-05-11T13:08:00.001-05:00

Blogging via Blackberry... Seriously. Tech stuff makes me giddy. I'm dangerously close to chronic geekdom.

Lunacy.

2009-05-08T12:41:00.003-05:00

I think the woman that wrote the article attached to the URL below is a complete lunatic. I would have to go a re-read the entire article again to be sure that I disagree with everything she says, but I think it would piss me off too much. Seriously.

How do you quantify the level of love that you have for your children and husband and dare to compare the two? Those two loves are so polar and yet so visceral it's dangerous to let the two inter-mingle. I will say that I would destroy anyone that even alluded to harming my children in any way, and anyone includes my husband. It's not personal; it's instinctual. However, to think that my husband would even be in that group of "anyone" is absurd. He is phenomenal.

Back to my fury.

Condoms in the bathroom? Why don't you just sit down with "The Joy of Sex" and read it with an outstretched arm to be sure that they take in the pictures. Pan to the right and then to the left to display every angle. Insanity.

I understand being open. I understand wanting to have a great relationship with your kids. I just don't think that counting the number of missing condoms in the bathroom is making the type of connection that is healthy. It's lazy to express the very least of my exasperation at that whole parenting theory.

As a wife, on the other hand, I love my husband unconditionally. I do not withhold showing him precisely how much, based upon how many dishes he washes or how many times he vacuums.

I usually don't comment or blog about articles that I have read. I certainly don't pay much attention to editorials, but this one just blew me away.

See for yourself:

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1896848,00.html

Giddy mommy

2009-05-08T08:47:00.003-05:00

I messed with the HTML in the last post, when I didn't really have enough time to make it look right. I'll fix it later :-)

The point of this post is to POINTE out that I just enrolled Kayden in dance, and I am JAZZED!

Shameless play-on-words intended.

What the HECK happened to my baby!?!

2009-05-05T14:48:00.002-05:00

She's two! Here are some pictures from her actual birthday, and then pictures of her party. Her birthday was on the same day as Meghan and Dustin's wedding.

It has been forever ...

2009-03-29T08:24:00.002-05:00

... my faithful little blog.

SO much has happened, since I posted last. The most important thing at this juncture is that I finally found a JOB - wahooo! I'm working for Verizon at the National Operations Center. It's pretty neat, to say that least. I will be directly working on the programming that controls the monitoring for the entire network's connectivity, be it data, voice, etc. I am pumped, to say the least. In addition to testing, I will have to write scripts to automate my testing. That is why they brought me in. I know what I'm doing, when it comes to breaking software, and they wanted someone also willing to learn programming and then to build a program to do it automatically... that's me! Hopefully, I'll be able to create my own template for blogger at some point haha. I just don't have the time right now, so I'll be lazy and use someone else's ;-)

I'll be updating more often, now. The past two weeks have been consumed by preparing for this job and then actually being there... Life is settling down a little bit now, so I'll have maybe five minutes of downtime...

At any rate, this whole experience has been life-changing. I work and enjoy just that at it's most visceral. I have a job. That in itself is beyond fortunate to me at this time in our world. I'm not sure I would have even known to be that grateful a year ago. It will probably shape the rest of my career for the better. I am grateful for it.

I am organizing pictures to take up to work, so I will post some from the past few years soon...

THIS is why I am not fond of cats..

2009-02-25T08:18:00.005-06:00

I woke up this morning at about 1 a.m. to the most hideous barking I had ever heard Hardy produce. He started in the back of the house and moved to the side next to the bedrooms. I was just certain by the second round of barking that someone or something was going to come bursting in our back door... Soo, I went and woke John up and got the Glock. I NEVER touch the guns... I had to move one of John's rifles to tile the closet, and I hated it. BUT, when he's out of town, or I think someone or something is about to come in the house, it is my best friend.

Anyway, I think John was pretty surprised when I started taking the holster off of it.. he knows I absolutely know how to use them, but this was pretty unusual... I took off out the back door with him on my heels. Hardy made some horrible sound, there was a commotion and we backed off and headed inside. I went out the front door to John's dismay, I'm sure, and we found nothing. We went back to bed, and figured it was Hardy barking at nothing or a rabbit.

10 minutes later.....

More hideous barking. John came through with the gun this time. Still nothing. He decided to go to the side of the house, thinking that something was in the dog house. He came back in and said that Hardy was bleeding and that there was a cat trapped between the house and the air conditioner. Hardy hates cats. Apparently, they hate him.

He ended up with a ripped ear and a few minor cuts on his face. I ran to Walmart to get Betadine and gloves. After two tries, I finally got his ear secured and enough pressure to stop it from bleeding. He was losing a fair amount of blood.

Here are some pictures after his bath, and the first attempt at wrapping up his head...

That didnt go very well, so i tried again.... This one is still on right now, so hopefully it worked!

The first try, I attempted to secure a diaper around his ear and use sports tape to keep it all on. He got that off pretty quickly. He was losing blood fast, so I ended up wrapping his ear in sports tape and then wrapping it around his head. He gave me a hug and thanked me when it was all over, and he gave up trying to get it off :-(

Paused...

2009-02-22T17:10:00.002-06:00

I haven't been able to post for the past couple of days, because we made a super-fast trip to C.S. for our Niece's birthday...

We are about to go to Home Depot to get some tile to do our bathrooms, yay! I'll update with pictures of the party later.

Cornerstone....

2009-02-19T16:53:00.003-06:00

... I'm going to start building mine. While I am usually kind, I think the normal kindness that I demonstrate might not be enough. Day two IS more challenging, but I am up for it.

I am working on finishing my sixth week of unemployment. Being at home is work in itself. Looking for a job is a job. I have reduced the days that the girls go to school to just Tuesday and Thursday, so that I may have at least a couple of days for interviews. Everyone's story is the same. I was walking through Walmart this morning on a grocery run, and a lady in Electronics said that the only reason she was working there was the fact that she was the product of a layoff. There is a strange kinship among us. It seems we are taking over the majority... or at least we are gravitating together in some odd way. I seem to run into a couple people every place that I go with a similar story as mine. What's scary is that you never know when it will hit. I think I crammed more groceries in my basket than anyone has ever accomplished in the history of grocery cramming. While I have great recruiters working with me and I have an awesome resume' and work history, I am worried about tomorrow. Will John still have his job? What is sad about that is he is doing Loss Mitigation... They have more work than they know what to do with. It is the right economy for that industry.

It was also funny, because I saw two different fire departments there doing their grocery shopping.... I so wanted to ask them if they had watched Fireproof. I am certain they would have thought that I was a lunatic, and they wouldn't have been far off. And even with all of this happening around me, I am so comforted. I still KNOW that we will be fine.

It is FAITH.

GRACE.

Prayer...

It makes you wonder if there is a divine reason for ALL of this. I looked for Fireproof. It was sold out. A Christian movie was sold out. I was blown away. And inspired.

One of these days we will be sitting at dinner and all of our kids will be in college. We will be sipping on margaritas and reflecting... and we will realize what we did right and what we did wrong. Maybe we will end up weathering this without a scar... or maybe they will run deep. But at least for us, I will be sure that our girls are oblivious to the state our nation is in right now. I don't want them to learn this lesson by watching us struggle, but by remembering that we spent more time at home doing cool family stuff than anything else. They don't need to know that the at home part is because of a recession. And, to me, I think it's bordering on depression. I really do. We don't have bread lines, but we have job lines.

I'll be back in the workforce soon. I will miss the fingerpainting on the carpet and walls. I will miss sleeping in with my girls till 8... I will feel guilty about that. But we will be better. We will come out of this stronger. I have faith.

And the greatest of these...

2009-02-18T13:47:00.002-06:00

... is love.

Be patient.

Be willing to listen and learn, because you might remember the reason you married him...if you have forgotten. I haven't, but I think some might in this horrible economy. It seems that the two are polar, but they do a strange dance. They are magnetic and repellant... it depends upon the day.

Listen to your husband, and don't reciprocate anything negative. You know, make a promise to yourself to compliment him once a day.

Watch his face.

His reaction will tell you how you have been making him feel. If he flippantly says, "Thanks..".. then he doesn't believe your sincerity. If he looks shocked, then he believes you but can't believe that you complimented something of his. If he reciprocates, you are blessed...

Pray about day two, because it will get harder.

If you haven't figured out what I am reading.... I DARE YOU to try.

Day One.

2009-02-17T17:40:00.000-06:00

I dare you.

Pray about it.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

2009-02-16T07:58:00.002-06:00

So, I have to buy more storage, since I have maxed out every possible photo storage app on the web ;-) I will post updates, blogs and pictures as soon as I find a suitable site or upgrade to more storage today.

The Deception

2009-02-04T10:57:00.000-06:00

Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness (2 Corinthians 11:14, 15).

Boringly - Blah...

2009-02-02T10:19:00.004-06:00

... is the only thing I think of when I see this background and layout...

SO - I am learning ASP.NET for that very reason. Well, several reasons.

First, because I'm a huge nerd.

Second, I am a huge nerd.

Third, (and there is not pattern here at all.. ), because I am the HUGEST nerd.

Ok, so you get the point. I am seriously going to create my own background and facelift up there ^ soon, so I won't have to keep copying canned code. In the nerd world, that literally means ready-made. It is the difference between buying your green beans in a can and having your own garden in your back yard. Well, I guess I want my own garden...

Follow?

If not, simply-stated, I want to learn a little programming to add to my "tool box" of sorts. With the layoff, I have extra time on my hands, of course, and I am going stir-crazy applying for jobs. Eventually, I want to be proficient enough to maybe do some freelance or side work building web pages. For now, I am learning and playing with it, and maybe I'll end up actually publishing something soon... we'll see...

As for the brood, here are a few pictures from the past week...

I averted a small crisis, when I found Daisy at the neighbor's. As that statement suggests, she had escaped the back yard during a potty break, and she was M.I.A. for a few hours. Kayden, however, is none the wiser, because she and John were in C.S. for John's Grandmother's memorial service. She passed last week. Kylee and I were here sick. Kylee ran a 104 by the time I got her her on Friday. I was sick, but I would have had no problem traveling. I fought her fever all Friday night and into Saturday. She still has green boogies oozing from her nose, but I checked her this morning, and her temp. was normal. We'll see how the day goes.

This was during one of her many baths to bring her fever down. You wouldn't have known it by the look on her face. She was just happy to play in the water.

He held up his end of the deal... poop = puppy

2009-01-22T11:24:00.005-06:00

So the "deal" was, with no other expressed stipulation(s), that once Kylee was potty-trained, we were allowed to have an inside small dog. Well... I don't have to use any diapers until she takes a nap or it is bedtime. In fact, she is so opposed to diapers now, that she throws a fit when I try to put them on for any reason. She potties in her little potty EVERY time, and she is so proud of herself that she looks about to burst.

Kayden, on the other hand, has been feeling ignored. I figured giving her a puppy would most probably fix that. We have tried to talk to her about it, and she really just wants something to be proud of that is "hers", I think.

So, on Monday, I got up and started searching ads online. I really wanted to adopt from a no-kill, but I didn't want to spend a whole lot of money. The shelters were wanting more than I wanted to spend, so I tried to find a small dog somewhere that wouldn't break the bank and would be fun for the girls to have. I found an ad for rat terriers, and I called the lady, met her, and ended up bringing Daisy home. John came up with her name. Now, I have had a rat terrier. I had a rat named Miller in college, and she was tiny. Daisy has the markings, but she's already about 7 or 8 pounds. I really think that she is mixed with either a large dog or a heeler or something. Her face is broad and her paws make me think she will be somewhere in the 20 pound range. That's fine, though, as long as she's not as big as Hardy and the girls can't hurt her. She's been adjusting well the past couple of days. She's going potty outside, and she's been fun. Here are a few pictures of the girls torturing her... and, Kayden had to get her a pink collar, leash and shirt...

Recession proof.

2009-01-11T06:59:00.004-06:00

Well.... things have been turned on their ear in the Harms' household. While we are dealing with the millionth stomach virus and runny noses, those seem like routine happenings at this time of the season.

Friday was a normal day. I was worn out from being sick the previous two weeks. I still don't feel quite "right", but every day my stamina improves. It really isn't bad enough to worry about anymore, it's just become somewhat of a small nuisance.

I got to work later than I wanted to, which was pretty typical. If I didn't get there by 7, I was telling myself I was late, so no big surprise there. I made an extra strong batch of coffee, and settled-in reading email. My boss was technically actually late, which wasn't a big deal. I had been working harder than normal lately (which normal was working harder than most people really have to), and I was finally getting used to dealing with the enormous workload without stressing too much. There was nothing really different about him, except that he wouldn't look me in the eye. I knew this, because I asked about shifting my hours to accomodate Kayden being in private kindergarten starting next August... I was somewhat used to the eye thing. While I think that he has redeeming qualities, I think he was in way over his head, when our V.P. was let go and he had to take her reins. He started in the company as a programmer, and now he was in charge of the entire IT department. In my opinion there are people well-suited for that kind of job, and honestly without any acid in my voice, he was not one of those individuals. Maybe he would have been fantastic in a situation that was structured, but ours was a controlled chaos. Excuse the cliche'.

I get a call at about 9:45 from the HR V.P. asking if I would meet her in the Auditor's conference room. My heart skipped, but the fear that I was avoiding was still safely tucked away in the corner of my mind reserved for survival mode. I walked into the boss' office, and asked what was going on. He made the mistake of looking at me for a half a second, and his face looked as if I had just caught him with his pants down. Might sound silly, but my feeling was that I had caught him in "something"...

Fast forward..... She pushed papers across the table at me for me to look over and sign, and she assured me that the only reason this was happening was strictly for "budgetary reasons". You know, that to me is about as lame as filing for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences". I know that I took a good portion of their skimpy budget, but I was good at what I did. There will be claims paid incorrectly, and there will be software programs that will not work and there will be some very unhappy policy holders. There were many things that I did in the company that only I knew how to do. Apparently, the "budget" was more important. The sour tone is because my boss knew that John had just gotten laid-off in the week before Christmas. He had to think about that. HR said that he struggled really hard with having to make this decision. You know... I ALWAYS take both perspectives in situations, and I like that part of me. But, at some point I have to digress and be human. This stinks. I can't say that I don't understand the decision. Get rid of me and free up a certain portion of the budget, or get rid of two people and free up that same portion. In black and white, it seems like that is the easy choice. If you forget the babies that I have. If you forget the despair that I have been struggling with, because I need to make sure that we are all o.k., after John losing his job. All that aside, it seems ok on paper.

Maybe that's how they had to think of it.

I emailed and asked for a letter of recommendation, and he said "Of course!". Nice consolation prize. I also emailed another coworker that could see how the company put quality second (my expertise). My job was to make sure that the software and data was flawless. To save money, they are going to skip that part now... good luck with that, guys. Anyway, this is what my coworker sent to me:

"Yea, See I hate to say it, but, "I told you so!" It's not worth it. All those nights you worked didn't help your job in the long run. You missed time with your family that you'll never get back. You did that and you're gone. (Name omitted) on the other hand probably doesn't even work 40 hours a week, yet he's still here.
So now what's going to happen is QA will all go back under the BA's and (Name omitted) will be some kind of helper. I'm sure there will be an ego battle going on for a while there. (Name omitted) will continue to be an untouchable island, as he's always been. And it's all because the company thinks QA is optional. The mindset all the way up the management ladder is to just do it "quick and dirty."
I'm really happy you have a sense of peace about all this. The feeling of peace has to be a "God thing". Any other reaction wouldn't come from God. I believe it to my core that sometimes bad stuff happens because God is getting you ready for something better. We can't see into the future, but He can. We just have to trust (which is very hard.)"

I was really blessed to be surrounded by at least one person that I know for sure was bothered by how things were "run" in our department.

I really do have a very strange peace about all of it. I am certain that my health will improve. I'm not sure that I have every experienced the kind of stress that I experienced in that environment. It really was a place that could suck the light out of you. I would always feel like the happy light would always be dimmed when I drove home. I don't think people that work for a live should HAVE to endure that everywhere they work. That is precisely why I steered my career path towards management. I really think that I can at least make an environment that I am in better, at least in the way that I think people should be treated. The people that worked for me were treated like human beings, that's for sure. Do I need to figure out the balance between being fair and a push-over? Yep.

Since Friday, I have applied to about 30 jobs. Something will come along. My experience is pretty diverse. At any rate, I think I will most probably have a longer commute, which is going to be awful. But I will have a job if I have a commute, so I won't allow myself to complain.

The Harms are not recession-proof, but our determination is. If nothing else, we are fighters. We used to fight eachother, then we fought to make it together in the "real" world, and now the fight has turned towards the recession.

Look out. Everything we have ever had to endure together has made us that much stronger. This is just a little gravel in our road.

My mantra: The Lord WILL provide!

This was forwarded by an old co-worker:

2009-01-08T11:13:00.001-06:00

To my sisters in the Lord... There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take a close look at herself. Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfair life is, or at who made you do it. She has to just look at herself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admired a woman who has been through changes in her life? Or have you made up in your mind that she is just messed up. Before you make this mistake, take a closer look.

A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someone of wi sdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go through things that have made her stronger. Think of all the great women in the Bible: Mary Magdalene, Ruth and Naomi, the woman with an issue of blood, and Esther, to name a few. Mary was a prostitute, a very uneasy woman. But by the time Jesus was done with her, she was His closest follower. Esther was unfortunate in marrying an abusive man, but by the time God was done with her, she had married one of the wealthiest men in the land.

Women are so quick to beat the next one down instead of trying to hold her up. Before you wonder, '? What's up with her?' ask yourself, 'What's up with me?' That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. That woman could be ME. Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let's build and encourage each other, as did Ruth and Naomi. Pass this to all the women in your life. Encourage and love, forgive and forget, and trust that the woman that receives this will be touched in some way. May the peace and love of Christ be upon you!

Oh, I love poop

2009-01-03T10:30:00.004-06:00

... when it is in the perfectly pink little potty that Kylee got for Christmas. She logged her THIRD morning to poop and pee pee in it. YAAAY! I see little puppy paws soon! (This should have been posted yesterday, but I didn't quite make it back to the laptop.)

2008-12-30T02:02:00.003-06:00

I am just at a loss for words to describe how the Lord decides to speak to me. He usually sneaks up on me when I least expect it and wallops me over the head. I have always had a relationship with Him, and His new boldness is almost refreshing.

I woke up a few minutes ago with the inability to swallow without sharp pain in my throat. John is still up, and he walked through to get a late night (or early morning) snack. I asked him to get the Aleve from my console in my Tahoe, because I'm not sure I can go back to sleep. I went to the Minute Clinic in CVS for a strep test, which came back negative, but I'm not convinced. The practicioner thought that I had a viral infection that seems to be harboring in Saginaw. I believe she said I was about the tenth person with the same symptoms; pain in the neck, swollen glands, almost impossible to swallow, body aches like the flu, headache, ear ache... Oh, and I do have fluid behind my left ear which would explain the latter of the symptoms. I have been nauseous and then these symptoms started yesterday some time, and I was thinking that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Then.. He did it to me again.

I was surfing around any message board to try and Google for some sort of intelligent answer to my symptoms, and I found this blog post. I have read her blog before, and she is a gifted writer.

He speaks through her.

He just did it to me.

My measly sore throat doesn't seem to matter that much anymore.

Kayden had RSV. She turned purple a couple of times, and it took the doctors what seemed like an eternity to help her. She was on breathing treatments and steroids from the time she was six weeks old to about eight months old.

She was one of the lucky ones.

Kylee has bronchiolitis right now. We took her to the clinic in College Station this weekend, and the doctor said it could possibly be RSV and to watch her to see if her symptoms worsen. I just heard her cough. Writing that, I am reminded that He is laying there with her, and will let me know when I need to go in there and get her in some way. I have to trust that...

As I was about a month or so ago... I am grateful for His timing.

Oh what a blessed, eventful week!

2008-12-28T09:52:00.009-06:00

Our Christmas was nothing less than wonderful. The girls were so excited. Kayden got her first doll house from Santa, and Kylee got her first potty. I say first, because if this one hadn't been a hit, I would have tried another model... maybe with more bells and whistles. This is the run-of-the-mill cushy seat. She seems to get a kick out of sitting on it, though. She has yet to make any contributions to the potty god, but we're working on it. I'm borrowing a friend's suggestion to just put it in the same room as she is in at the time, and not really make a big deal of it being there. I do have a little bit of a vested interest in her completion of her potty training milestone, I must confess, and I can't help but ask her a million times if she wants to sit on it. She obliges every time I ask, so hopefully this won't take too terribly long.

I have been wanting an inside dog since John and I started living together oh some six years ago. He has always said no, and while I am very capable of overriding that decision, I have decided to respect that. I asked him last year what it would take to have a dog in the house, and he said if they were both potty trained that we would be able to get one. Well... Kylee is working on it, so I am holding him to it!

The week before Christmas was pretty busy, as well. I moonlight as a floor tiler. ... Ok, not really, but I can tile floor. I went and tiled my Mom's kitchen for her the weekend before Christmas, and that was a whirlwind. Tiling is actually pretty fun. I moved her fridge and stove out. It was the craziest thing... the stove was about 32 years old, and I guess they used to nail stoves to the adjacent cabinets, because I had to pry it out. Thank goodness my parents had taken the girls to the park, or I think my Mom would have had a heart attack watching me wrestle with it. Another thank goodness was that she didn't want me to put it back in. I don't think I would have... The only snafu was that we had to go and get another wet saw about halfway through. The saw that I had started sparking, even with full water, and it was driving me nuts. At the end of the weekend, my Mom was much happier with a cleaner-looking floor, and I was happy that they were able to spend time with the girls. The drive wasn't the best, but it was a small price to pay.

I was sick at the beginning of the week, and all I could do was get the girls to school and back. I'm sure my boss was none too happy, but I'm working all day today (save for writing this blog) to make up for any time I lost.

I am also in the midst of rotating out toys, without being obvious about it. I think that is the hardest part. Even if the girls don't play with whatever I decide to put up, it still bothers me to take their toys away.... Yes, they have shiny, new, age-appropriate ones to replace the old, but I still feel bad. Kylee is getting to the baby doll and stroller age, thus creating a little conflict with her older and similarly stubborn sister. I had to negotiate my first truce over a tiny little baby this morning. I offered four "big" babies to Kylee, and she wasn't biting. It took a Hungry Hippo game and careful diversion to get Kayden's doll back. Why they both decided to argue over THAT doll is beyond me. I am contemplating reading The Art of War, just to brush-up on my negotiation skills...

SOOOO - As I was writing this blog, I took a potty break with Kylee, and she finally tee-teed in her new potty!!! YAAAAY! Ok, so there is hope for an early '09 puppy.... I'm feeling it .

Here are a few pictures from the past week...

Kayden "driving" with Pa Pa through Santa's Wonderland:

The above picture was Christmas morning.

2008-12-18T14:36:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted in a while, because I haven't felt like I had the time. This has been such a hard month really for us...

Without going through the details, I just believe that God will make sure that we are all protected through his GRACE. It's such a beautiful thing. I know that there are so many others that are so much worse off than we are. I emailed the Tarrant County Food Bank this morning, asking what we could do as a family. I want to volunteer. I want my girls to know that presents aren't everything. I am worried that they are going to take the excess for granted. They are always spoiled by their grandparents. While I am beyond grateful for that, I am afraid that the true meaning of Christmas is lost in the wrapping paper and bows... giving... Even when we have nothing, we have something to give. I am determined beyond words to teach my girls to feel that...

Kayden's teacher, Mrs. Bev, gave me a little insight into Kayden's heart this morning. Every two days or so, we have an issue with Kayden being either disrespectful by not listening or challenging to Bev's assistant, Kim. Bev never has a problem with her, and I don't say that lightly. She will put her in her place, and Kayden knows it. Kim is not so lucky. Kayden is very possessive of her classroom at school. She has the routine and rules down pat. Any time that anyone else is in charge of the room, she becomes the resident critic. She becomes upset if things aren't done the way that BEV does them. She then becomes very challenging to deal with. She is very loyal, to say the least. Bev has had this figured out, but was sure of the motivation, after yesterday. The Kindergarten teacher had to take over the class in the late afternoon for Kim, because she was out sick. Kayden was instantly bothered. While I never want her to be disrespectful, I adore her loyalty. Her alpha-teacher was gone, so she assumed the position. In her little mind, nothing would go unnoticed or be permitted that wasn't exactly what she thought Bev would do. How fascinating, really, that a four-year-old has such conviction. She was fine by the time John picked her up, but she made sure that the room had been "run" the way she thought was the right way. The next day, she went and apologized to the Kindergarten teacher without anyone asking her to. Noone asked her to. I think that is the part that blows me away. Maybe it is normal for a child that age to feel like she needed to apologize, but I wouldn't think that would happen in their development yet. I don't know... I guess I am proud that her heart is in the right place, and she knows what is right and wrong. She feels regret and remorse. My own heart swells when I hear that she has been motivated to do something from her heart.

We were at the Harms' Christmas this past weekend, and she got two presents that were the same. She immediately said, "That's o.k, Kylee can have this one." about one of them. While the fact that she got two of the same was a mistake, she still thought of her sister. I'm just so proud.

I want to, for lack of a better word, harness that giving spirit in her. I don't know if Kylee has that as strongly, and I don't know if I will know that about her for a while. I know that both of them will be sweet, because they will always be the best little angels in the world, to me. BUT... I want them to have

...a SERVANT'S HEART....

In the next couple of weeks, we are going to volunteer somewhere. I'm not sure what we will do, but I will find something. We can't give money or gifts, but we can give time and effort.

We can give our hearts.

Maybe it will teach my girls that presents aren't everything. Or, maybe they already know that, and they will give me the best Christmas present ever.

2008-12-10T12:19:00.007-06:00

So, I finished Twilight in two nights, and it was a really good read. I am thinking I will read the rest of the series by Sunday. John is out of town on a business trip, so it will be a little quieter around the house... of course, that is always relative. I don't associate vampires with Satan, by the way, so I don't feel like I'm evil for reading the series. I just think it's a good story, so I'll leave it at that.

We decided to decorate the house last night, and it was truly the perfect series of little moments that I hope my girls logged in their memory banks. Kayden wanted some spaghetti, so I hurriedly cooked some, folded two loads of laundry and washed the dishes. All the while, John was up in the attic, no doubt rearranging some of our junk and castaway toys that hopefully have memories banked with them, as well. He and Kayden finally emerged from the garage, tree in tow, and we set to it. Kylee immediately repurposed the tree box as a play pen, and it was such a joy to watch her little face getting so excited at every little decoration that we pulled out.

I tuned into streaming Christmas music on my laptop, and the girls had a ball decorating the tree. Once that was up, we moved to the dining table to explore the boxes with the light-up train and stockings. Both of the girls thought that the best way to get everything out was to stand on the table and pull it all out all around them. I didn't care at all; it was the cutest scene to watch. This is really Kylee's first year to actually pay attention to all of the excitement, and her reaction to it all didn't disappoint. She would gasp and say "Ligh ligh!" for lights, "twee!", "baw!", "sock!".. it was fun.

I think we created a special night that I will certainly try to replicate next year, and hopefully it will be our new little Harms family tradition... Kylee sits in the box, they climb up on the table and strew the decorations everywhere, eat the old candy canes out of the bottom of the decoration box, and jump around to carols. The tree is already sporting the first few ornaments that they have made, and a few others that are sentimental.

They both got a turn trying to put the angel in her place. She's built a little weird at the bottom (not that there's anything wrong with that), but Kylee really did try her best, and Kayden was being such a ham.

I taught myself how to read...

2008-12-04T12:49:00.002-06:00

... when I was little with Hooked on Phonics. Ever since then, I have loved to read; I just haven't had the time. I picked up Twilight this past weekend, and I made the time last night. It is compelling, to say the least. I started it last night, and I only lack about 100 pages. I was so tired, but I wanted to finish it so badly! I will update on what I think of the first of the series.

My favorite book series has to be the Left Behind series, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. I have read all of them, and they are fantastic. Basically, they fictionalize (based upon scripture though, of course) the Rapture, Armageddon, the Antichrist and the Second Coming of Christ. If you haven't read them, you should. They are NOT "preachy" and are an easy read. I think my second favorite author is John Grisham, by far.

Anyway, I am planning to read the whole Twilight series, before seeing the movie.

I just realized how random this post was.

I got tagged! All things John...

2008-11-30T06:47:00.006-06:00

Tagged!!
Erica tagged me, yay! I haven't posted in the past couple of days, because it's actually been pretty busy. Between shopping, running, making a gingerbread house and eating, it was hard to find the time to sit down and write. Anywho, this is so fun, and I hope I can remember the answers to some of these questions... This quiz is about John :-D

1. Where did you meet? We met at a tanning salon that I worked at in college. Our stories differ a tad about what actually "caught his eye", but the outcome was the same. He brought me beer on Halloween, because I had to work, and he gave me his number on a Post-it, that I still have to this day.

2. How long did you date? Our "dating" anniversary was 11/10/02, and we got married on 08/02/08, so nearly six years.

3. How long have you been married? Approximately four months, and we JUST got our DVD of pictures back this weekend. I'm a little miffed at the photog, needless to say..

4. What does he say that surprises you? His open-mindedness is always a pleasent surprise. Surprisingly, he used to be pretty judgmental, and I've really tried to get him to think of what "the other guy" might be having to deal with... He is getting much better in his old age ;-)

5. What is your favorite feature of his? Oddly-enough, I think I like his shoulders the most. His shoulders are massive really, and it makes me feel like he could crush anything. It must be some sort of primal cavewoman has a caveman that can protect her thing... who knows. I love his eyes, because they are beautiful, and his arms. His heart is pretty durn cool, too.

6. What is your favorite quality of his? Someone told me once that God only gives little girls to special men. That sentiment certainly applies to him. He is such a wonderful Daddy.

7. Does he have a nickname for you? Babe, Steph, Mommy

8. What is his favorite color? Probably Real Tree Camo or blue.. not really positive..

9. What is his favorite food? Chips and hot sauce. I think if he were able to live on chips and hot sauce, he would do it.

10. What is his favorite sport? Baseball to watch, football to play fantasy leagues with and hunting

11. When and where did you first kiss? At his house in Stephenville the first night that we had gone out

12. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? We like to work in the yard together, work out, play with the girls

13. Do you have any children? Yes, two. Kayden is 4 and Kylee is 19 months.

14. Does he have a hidden talent? He can cook really well, and he loves to do it. In fact, when I come home from work and want to cook, he never lets me!

15. How old is he? 29

16. Who said "I love you" first? I hinted at it but he actually said it first, suprisingly, again.

17. What is his favorite type of music? Anything that has a good "beat", and that is how he describes it, whether it be rap (which is usually the case), country or rock.

18. What do you most admire about him? I, of course, admire how much he loves his girls. He is very organized, though, and it borders OCD. Everyone in this world could learn a thing or two from him in that respect.

19. Do you think he will read this? I don't even know if he has the link to "our" blog. Lord knows I've sent it tons of times.

20. Where did you go on your first date? He made back strap at his house, and I punched the wall, because I bit into a habanero.

Ok, Allison and Lynda, you're IT!

Words, words words...

2008-11-21T11:40:00.003-06:00

I was stopped dead in my tracks this morning. It takes a lot to do that to me. I am the Mother of two little girls under 5, so I am pretty bomb-proof.

Kayden ended up on the floor next to the couch last night, so she was bundled up and trying to wake up, as I went to go get Kylee out of her crib. I microwave little frozen blueberry pancakes every morning for them, just because of time. Kylee must've heard the timer, because as soon as I picked her up, she said, "Pan-keeks!" We were walking back through the living room (where Kayden was rolling around trying to wake up), and Kylee then said, "Hi, Kaynan!"

I stopped.

I looked at both of them and burst into giggles.

Kayden had the "wow" face, but I decided to keep Kylee moving. I dressed her, and starting thinking that I probably should note all of the things that she is learning and starting to do.

So here is my list:

1. She started walking backwards about a week ago. She's terribly proud of her new skill. It usually comes with a sideways glace, as if to say "do you seeee what I am do-eeeeeng"..

2. She is a parrot, of course, but using words on her own and in the correct context she has just started to develop as a new "skill".

3. She says "Hi, Kaynan"

4. Pan-keeks = Pancakes

5. Jack-eet = Jacket

6. Staw cryeee = Stop crying

7. All done = All done (sounds perfect to me)

8. Down

9. She can answer either "NO!" or "Yeah!" to just about any question posed to her.. and she answers with gusto

10. She runs to the bathroom, when you tell her it's time for a bath.

11. She says "buck-ooh", when she is getting in her seat in the Tahoe, or she is getting in her chair at the dinner table.

Thinking...

I know she is much more miraculous than this, but my brain is on temporary respite today. I can't seem to think past the fact that the holidays are coming up, and it is time to go into holiday vacation-mode... even though I don't get one....

Part II will come later, if I can remember to think of remembering to do it...

I need phantoms, people...

2008-11-18T12:45:00.005-06:00

So most people know that I figure skated. It's old news. I had doubles and triples, and I loved it. I have been wanting to take Kayden skating since she was born, but there is the small issue of sharpened steel with the intentional toepick at the end. Quite a scary looking knife, if you ask me.

I took to Craigslist, eBay, Google, just about every resource I could think of to try and find a pair of wider-than-heck boots. And, it wasn't o.k. if they were just any boots. I wanted my "old" make of boots. They are about $650 retail. Yeah, I didn't think it was wise to spend that much, nor did I want to. I prayed about it. I pray about everything these days.

A couple of days later I was looking at Craigslist, and I found a pair of 7 1/2 Ds, and they were the make that I wanted. Like I said, I needed wider-than-heck. I emailed the poster as fast as my fingers would go, and I waited. She wanted $75 for the skates, and I almost couldn't believe it. The blades on them weren't the best, but they would do for the moment. After waiting an eternity, she finally sent them...

I put them on last night, and miraculously, they fit. Honestly... if I could have slept in them without thinking I would either stab my babies or poke a hole in something, I would have. I don't have guards, yet, but I will... OH, I will. John will never realize how much it meant to me, when I walked around in them for about 20 minutes, and he didn't ask me why... I just had to. I wrapped bubble wrap around the blades, and secured it with tape. She didn't send guards, obviously... I think I said that already. Anyway, the blades are basically a coach's blade, and "my" blades aren't. I want MK Phantom blades. It's the only thing that I am used to, and years and years of skating on them just can't be changed. It's like riding a bike.

As soon as I get a good sharpening, I'm going to take Kayden. If she hates it, I really don't mind. I just have to let her see what Mommy did when she was little. She already knows what Daddy did. This is Texas, after all, so it's a little harder to show her...

Anyway, here they are. I'm excited.

I cannot stop weeping...

2008-11-13T22:59:00.002-06:00

I have been praying that God help me to be a better Mommy...

I didn't know how it would happen or what would happen, but I knew it would come.

Every night I check the blogs of friends and celebrity gossip sites and then I go to CNN, MSN, MSNBC, etc. Tonight was different. I was reading a friend of mine's blog, and I started going through her blog links to see if I could find any funny stories of encouragement from other Moms.

I did.

It wasn't funny. It was life-changing.

I have been sitting here in the middle of my bed weeping for the past hour and a half. Let me be clear... I do not think that I am even close to a bad Mom, but I do pray that God will give me the words to teach my girls about Him. I will spend the rest of my life praying for the strength to surrender to Him and the stillness to hear His whispers... I hugged Kayden (she was still up watching Spongebob) with arms that were weak from disappointment in myself that I had ever taken this little curly haired gift for granted. With tears streaming down my face, I told her that I loved her and I was sorry that I had ever yelled at her or made her sad. With a calmness beyond even my years, she brushed my hair out of my face and said it was ok. She squeezed me, and she went back to watching cartoons.

In His infinite grace... He showed me.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Let's all be festive, shall we?

2008-11-12T14:47:00.004-06:00

I plugged in my Christmas tree at work. It's time, folks. I am feeling the season.

I ran in the pouring rain on Monday, and it seemed to awaken my psyche. I think everyone should do it. On the last mile or so it started to pelt me in the face. Honest to God, I started smiling. Passing motorists must have thought I was losing my mind and anything else along with that, because I just enjoyed the moment. I thought of those in this world that would give anything to run like that. So, I just smiled for them. I was soaked to the skin, and it was about 65 outside. I have run in 110 degree weather, so what was a little water? Actually, it is sort of a wash when you run in the rain (ignore the literal), because the rain cools your body temperature. I felt refreshed, cold and fortunate.

The first lightning strike in our vicinity happened as soon as I got in my Tahoe and shut the door. It ended up being a great thunderstorm.

Really. If you haven't played in the rain, do it.

2044.

2008-11-06T14:29:00.003-06:00

"Mommy..."

Yes, Kayden.

"Next time will you say I can be president?"

Absolutely.

Do you want to be the president?

"Yes."

I think you would make a fantastic president.

You could tell everyone what to do!

"Even Mrs. Bev?"

Even Mrs. Bev.

"... and Daddy?"

And Daddy.

"... and you?"

And Me.

"... and Kylee?"

And Kylee.

".... ....."

"I want to be the president."

2008-10-18T14:50:00.000-05:00

Waiting for Daddy to get home from his trip to Dana and Greg's wedding.... ATT Uverse was out AGAIN, so they had to entertain themselves. This is what they came up with :-)

"Where Stuff Lives" by Kayden Harms

2008-10-13T06:44:00.002-05:00

"Mommy, you know what lives in a tree?.... Alvin, Simon and Theodore..."

me - " and what else..."

"Skunks."

Pictures... um, pictures...

Grass... roly polies and lady bugs

Pillows... easter bunnies

Couches... nothing

Eggs... candy

Lamps... light

"Hang on Kayden, so I can write this down.."

"...why?"

"So I don't forget.."

Coffee... (loooong sigh...) I don't know. Skunks live in coffee.

Kayden's party.

2008-10-11T09:30:00.006-05:00

I rented the girls' daycare center for Kayden's party. I figured that it was the perfect place to make a mess and clean up, because it wasn't my house!

Here are a few pictures:

Prayers... Magic... I've seen a little of both

2008-10-08T18:58:00.002-05:00

I've been too busy to blog. Work is insane. A girl that worked for me left, and I have taken over her job, as well as mine. My corporate word for it was "absorb"... I hate absorbing. Say it enough and it's one of those words that sounds silly... absorb... absorb... absorb... see? Anyway. That's where my brain is. My boss is one of those special fellas that doesn't want to know details or how you got into the trainwreck you're in, but the fact that you are in it MUST be your fault. You were riding on the train, right? Your fault. If the analogy is not understood, the job itself is a trainwreck. No training when you get there. No training while you are there. Projects thrown at you. What do you mean you don't have time to do three jobs, stay until seven and work on the weekend? Seriously. I am trying to juggle it and avoid any questions. I'm trying to keep my head down for the moment. The economy is too weak to think outside the box that I work in....

More importantly, Robin's Daughter (Robin stood in at the wedding as my Matron-of-Honor for Melinda, who at the time was incredibly pregnant), Reann, flipped her 4-wheeler last week, and she is now hospitalized. Robin was eating dinner and her friend riding with her sped up to the house, and told them she had crashed. Charles sped out there to her, and she was tor

n up. She couldn't stand up, and she was in beyond excrutiating pain. She says she doesn't remember it, which is awesome. She hadn't seen a very steep ditch or culvert, depending on what part of Texas you are from, and hit it at probably fifty or sixty miles an hour. They rushed her to the hospital and the hospital cleaned her up, stitched her up and sent her home. We went to see her the next day, and I can't come close to describing how horrid her leg looked. She suffered a gash to the top of her elbow, which required stitches to close. Her leg was the worst road rash I have ever and might ever see for the rest of my life. Her leg had been reduced to raw meat, and in the middle of all of the mess was about a five inch gash that was jagged and stitched. She was developing bruising from the inside that was making to the skin in black splotches. She also had another bruise like that in her kidney area. We ran to the store, because they ran out of gauze pads. It took around four to cover the worst parts of her leg. Her discharge papers had Robin pouring peroxide directly on her leg wound and flushing it with water. Tap water. They had told her to do that. I had Reann lean back on me while she was doing it, because she was wincing and the first time her body tensed, mine went haywire. I started sweating, getting hot and dizzy, and was sure I would puke. I made it outside and back in without any major issues, but I was close. I could look at it and watch her wince, but put both together and I couldn't take it apparently.

Robin and Robert came to Kayden's party, and in the middle of everything they got the call that Reann had developed a fever. They rushed her to Cook's Children's Medical Center Downtown, and she was admitted. I found out today that if they had waited even a few hours later that she might not have had the option of keeping her leg. The first hospital that had sewed her up had left rocks and gravel and dirt in her leg and arm. Her entire arm was now swollen and the tissue around her calf and bone in her leg was dead. She now needs a skin graft to cover the wound that spans her leg from her knee to ankle. She had a surgery to optn the wounds and insert drains on Monday. Yesterday she got to rest. Somewhat. Today she had another surgery to clean out her wounds, yet again, and give the plastic surgeon an opportunity to see inside her arm and leg and gauge what the damage was. It was not good. He is going to do the graft on Friday. The drains will stay in place for another five days after Friday. She will then have another surgery to either close what is still open or fix the graft. They are taking it one step at a time. In the midst of all of this, Robin's Husband's Uncle Jody had to be admitted to Harris Methodist across the street from Reann's hospital for seizures. Robin and their family just recently moved out to Jody's house in the country to take care of him, because of said seizures.

I am at a loss for what to do but go up there and just sit by them every chance I get and to pray. It makes me sick to think that people are really worried about anything other than thanking God for every chance they get to see their kids and be at home with their families. Some unfortunate people are not capable of compassion, perspective and humility. I pity those people. Seeing one of my best friends watch her Daughter in pain and go through all of this is enough perspective for me. It wouldn't have taken that.

By the way... Kayden and Kylee became really quiet last night, while John and I were watching t.v. Kayden had changed Kylee's diaper. Wipes and all. On the right way. Even sprinkled powder (the only thing that works on Kylee). I was pretty much blown-away. It was magic to watch....

I pray that God allows me to have many more magical moments like that.

My crazy kids!

2008-10-01T12:30:00.002-05:00

Click on the picture below for more pictures...

RandDshouseandKayden's Bday

2008-10-01T10:21:00.000-05:00

Here is the other nut-head yesterday afternoon....

2008-10-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

My baby girl is 4 today!!!!!!

2008-09-25T09:08:00.002-05:00

This is the newest addition to my extended family. This is Colin Ryan Smith. He was 7 lb. 14 oz., and he was born to my oldest and dearest friend. We have known eachother since we were 9 years old and in the 4th grade. She was going to be my Matron of Honor, but complications with her pregnancy prevented her from flying. Praise the Lord and his infinite grace, because they are both healthy and happy and he has given the gift of Motherhood to one of the most beautiful people I know...

The world of I.T......

2008-09-23T13:29:00.002-05:00

....sitting in a conference room waiting.... everyone is a minute late... I'm a little bit of a stickler for being on time to meetings... social functions.. not so much.

No water, no worries...

2008-09-23T12:42:00.002-05:00

So, my Mom's house wasn't flooded, but John's side of the family wasn't so lucky. John's Uncles and Aunts live all around the Pasadena, Seabrook, Clear Lake area, and his Aunt Annette's house was destroyed by flooding. They have had to rip out sheet rock, appliances, furniture and all of the brand new hand-scraped wood flooring that they just installed. One of his Uncles had a tree branch fall on one of their cars.

In the grand scheme of things, it could obviously have been much worse. My Mom's power wasn't restored until 9/20, but it could still be off. The huge tree in our front yard could have collapsed, but it didn't. Entire structures could have been lost, and they weren't, but it still does not lessen the impact that Ike had on our family. Both sides of the family have been through numerous hurricanes, and I think this one was the most surprising and devastating of them all. My own personal theory is that the meteorologists were way off, and the storm was much more unpredictable and stronger than they expected. Just theory.

Anyway, we came through it uninjured and more tired than normal, but alive. That's all we could have really asked for.

I would have so much to ask...

2008-09-15T20:57:00.001-05:00

"Mommy, do you know God's cell phone number?" - Kayden Tanner Harms

another picture...

2008-09-12T10:25:00.002-05:00

Here is a little better picture. If you look closely, you can see the white diagonal line through the coast. That is the track of the eye. Then if you look in the center and to the left, you will see '77546', and there is a box that is over my house I grew up in. A little scary, but it's neat to be able to see what is going on with Google Earth. We'll see what happens...

Hurricane Ike

2008-09-12T09:47:00.003-05:00

Well, I don't know if anyone reads my blog, but I wish I knew. I need to ask for all the prayers that my family, friends and hometown can get. As we all have heard by now, Ike is coming. The irony is that one of my best guy-friends in high school is named Ike... Anyway, here is the house that I was born in and the path of Ike....

The run-down...

2008-09-09T15:58:00.005-05:00

I haven't posted in forever....

We have had an interesting month. I was going to post a long and drawn-out 1st hand account of our wedding and honeymoon, but I figured I would spare the masses.

A quick run-down of our first month as a married couple....

We had an AMAZING honeymoon.

We went to Gran Caribe Real in Cancun, and we found a new favorite drink and did a ton of shopping. We visited Chichen Itza and went on a Lobster Cruise. It was truly a much-needed and well-deserved break from the "real" world. I did well without my little ones up until Wednesday. I was heart-sick after that, and I was missing them terribly. We have decided that our next trip without them (if that ever happens) will be four days at the most. I can't handle any longer!

We came home, and we had to send my ring off immediately to the jeweler. It was a custom set from a small jeweler in Stephenville. Two of my baguettes were missing, and we determined that it happened some time between the reception and the limo ride. We discovered it on the plane to Mexico.

We had a pretty bad weekend a couple weekends ago... some of our neighbors (that were not at the wedding) came over like usual on Friday night. The husband really started saying some horrible things to me, and it was truly out of the blue. John said that he could tell all night that something wasn't right with the guy. I got in his face and told him to leave (yes, it was that bad), and I haven't been that mad in literally a few years. If there is one thing that I don't apologize for it is sticking up for myself. What he said was to the effect that John should beat me every day of my life and I was a dumbass if I didn't think so, too.... I had been looking at my bachelorette party pictures that the neighbors had thrown for me, and John made some comment and I flat-handed popped him in the cheek. I was 200% playing around, and John knew that. I got his eye by total accident, and he knew that, too, and wasn't even thinking about it, when this guy just started in on what should "happen" to me, because of that. I can't explain how bad things got after that.... anyone want details later, I can explain face to face. To add, these are the people that have the little girl that caused Kayden to have to go to the hospital. Nothing has been said to us to this day about that, by the way.... It's a sad situation. I had confided in the wife some very personal stuff about John and me... she proceeded to air it all... You know, toxic people just suck, and sometimes you don't even know that they have the capability to be that way. It's just a bad deal. I don't think they were ever really our friends. Maybe they were, and then something changed for them, who knows. What WE know is that now we are moving. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe this was God's way of getting us away from negativity...

SO... we have packed about half of our house up and we have put boxes in the garage of stuff that we don't use on an every day basis. Yes, the situation is bad enough, where I personally do not want to even be in the vicinity of someone capable of some of the things that happened.... that might sound silly, but I have never not wanted to "fix" a situation or understand someone's point of view.... I don't care about this one. I don't care to "fix" any relationship or anything that happened. I never feel that way. OH ANYWAY - we are looking for a larger house, since we will probably have a third little one, once we only have one in daycare. There is no way that we could afford three in daycare. It is actually really exciting, but sad. I will miss our house. What I have learned, though, is that it has nothing to do with the four walls you are in. It will still be hard to leave.

We are looking in the same area, so that we don't change too much of our commute or routine. It is a buyer's market, but definitely not a sellers', so we will need all the prayer and luck we can get! I have been painting base boards and walls for the past two weeks, so our house looks pretty spiffy... The girls have just been going with the flow.

We went to Ry and Kelli's last weekend to watch the Aggies win, whoop! The girls had a great time, and Kylee was walking around saying "TANK", which is their maltese's name. He's a cutie. Jevon and Randi were there, and we drank a few Coronas and played some Wii after the game. I think I want one :-) I played Ry a couple of games of tennis, and even though he kicked my butt it was pretty fun.

Sunday was my 30th birthday, which was a little melancholy. John said that he was going to plan a party, but in light of the events a few weekends before, nothing happened. I cleaned all day and drank four Corona's a went to bed. So much for going out of my twenties with a bang...

Other than that.. a little somber, I know, we have been enjoying married life :-) I can't say that I "feel" any differently, other than more of a united front type of feeling. I think I have truly felt that since Kayden was born, but now I can at least relax and know it's permanent. I still have to go through all of the pictures and pick the ones that will go into our photo book that we will get from the photographer, and then we have to pick the proofs that we want printed. There are some great ones of the reception.

I also learned something about myself that I wish I had learned earlier in life... I am VERY ANNOYING when I am drunk... I watched a video of the rehearsal dinner that my friend Kristin took, and I was just cringing the entire time... man, I just needed to shut up. For the rest of my life I will be conscious of that... I'm glad I saw it, though. It seemed like everyone had a great time, so I guess it wasn't too bad.

I'm really looking forward to the next couple of months. My friends Erica and Melinda are having babies! I am also going to a shower for the second baby of my best friend's daughter. I'm making a diaper cake for the second time, so we'll see how it turns out. I think I might make floozie koozies for it, too, but we'll see how much time I have between making sure the house is picture-perfect, and chasing the kiddos :-P

We went to see a surgeon today...

2008-07-31T02:32:00.002-05:00

T-minus three days, and we were spending the day today (yesterday at this point, but it's so late or early rather in the morning) at the orthopedic surgeon's office at Cook Children's Medical Center in downtown Fort Worth. Why, you ask? Well...

Kayden and her friend (whom I will leave nameless) were playing outside on Tuesday, when she let out a horrible shriek. I knew what it was right away, because she was protecting her arm. Long story short, her friend had twisted or pulled her arm and hurt her. This was particulary worrisome, because it was the same arm that had been pulled out of socket about two years ago...

In brief: A teacher at her school went psycho and yanked her up by her arm and pulled her elbow out of socket. We filed a police report, it went to the D.A., then the grand jury, and they decided not to pursue the case any further, because they could not prove malice. We had the bitch on camera. Whatever. Anyway, that was what flashed through my minds-eye.

To continue... she came home and didn't want me to do anything but lay on the couch with her and later in her bed and watch Monsters, Inc. I would try to comfort her and she said she was hurting and didn't want me to touch her. Every once in a while, she would assure me that I didn't need to take her to the doctor, because her arm was fine. In the next breath, she would cry and tell me that it hurt. Come to find out, she just didn't want me to take her to have a shot. I so remember that fear. My pediatrician was a she/he.. I still don't know what it was to this day, and it wore white nurse shoes. Oh, the scars from that... anyway... So we watched the movie, and I moved to the couch out of her bed, when she fell asleep. 15 minutes later she was on the couch with me telling me to get OFF of the couch, because I was in her way and hurting her arm.. I WAS THERE FIRST! Oh... I'm the adult here... So, she informed me that it would be o.k. if I slept on the floor. Perfect, the floor. I thought at least then she might go to sleep. Oh, if I had only been so lucky. Bless her heart, she literally whimpered every two or three minutes. She just couldn't get comfy. I can't imagine how badly it hurt.

So, this morning John and I discussed the situation, and we decided that we were torn. She stubs her toe, and it turns into an ordeal so that she can milk it for all the attention away from Kylee that she thinks it's worth. So we were thinking some of the whining might be that, but then she told us that it didn't hurt anymore. She wasn't even moving. Her eyes weren't open, but here is this little voice, "my arm doesn't hurt. I don't need to go to the doctor..." John and I just laughed. She always has to get her two-cents in. So, I took her to school and told her teacher what was going on. It wasn't 30 minutes later, and I had an email. Kayden wasn't using her arm, and she was upset. She was most upset about the fact that I was taking her to the doctor. That was much worse than the pain she was in, apparently.

The pediatrician tried to put it back into place, and he was unsuccessful. We got bad parent points, because we waited to get her in until the next morning. She hurt it around 9 PM. Not sure we should relinquish our parent card for that, but whatever. He told me that with "Nurse Maid's Elbow" (google it), you have to reset it within 4 hours or it becomes more difficult as time goes on. Having said that, he did tell me that she seemed to have been severely injured, though, so he wasn't sure that theory would have really applied to her. At any rate, he wasn't comfortable trying to reset it any further, so off we went to the orthopedic surgeon. Beautiful. I was pissed, stressed, heart-broken for Kayden, and selfishly hoping that we wouldn't have to make a million different doctor visits to fix her poor arm. My hoping wasn't all in vain. The orthopedic surgeon visit was actually a piece of cake.

The ortho took pictures of her bones, as I explained it to her, and he assured me that she was all in one piece and her friend hadn't broken anything, but had twisted or pulled it pretty hard. He gave me two options. Option one was to attempt to reset it, but he said he really didn't want to do that. She was still traumatized from the pediatricians failed attempt, and he said he didn't want to put her through that. Option two was the winner: we would cast her arm from her hand to the middle of her upper-arm, and then come back in two weeks to remove it. We walked out of there... well, I did with a monkey sporting a purple cast, and feeling much better. As soon as the cast was on, she said it didn't hurt her any more.

At least it is in my color scheme. :-)

I have GAS!

2008-07-24T15:23:00.002-05:00

In my Tahoe, and I am ready to run the last-minute errands for the wedding. We have NINE DAYS! That still seems like an eternity. We have been engaged since April 2004. 4 years and four months. Wait... I was just doing the math in my head.. I think that's right. I think we decided that we had been together since 11/10/02. That's right.. I got pregnant in January of '04, got engaged when I was about 4 months pregnant, and then I had kayden on 10/01/04. I was thinking that we had been engaged for five years for some reason... not that after four years it matters that much, but still.

Anyway, what is another 9 days? Maybe Kylee's diaper rash will clear up, since her upper front tooth will have time to break through... that's what I worry about these days ;-) She has been teething so badly, and she is SOOOO late... bless her heart.

I have to make the flip flops for my girls this weekend and buy their gifts. Actually, I have about half of the stuff that I am putting in their bags; I just need to finish. John is going to C.S. for his bachelor party this weekend, so I will probably have time to get everything done. Funny how when he is home I feel like I get nothing done, and when he is home I feel so productive! I guess I just feel like I have to wait on him all the time when he's home or do whatever he thinks he wants me to do... he's just another kiddo for me to babysit haha... not really, he's just distracting.

I am getting stressed-out, though. I need to contact the DJ, pastor and make sure that all the vendors don't forget. I just have this fear that someone won't show up. I guess what happens happens, and everything will be fine. I just need for next weekend to get here!

I LOVE this place

2008-07-21T09:03:00.001-05:00

baby%20girls">http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?exp=n&storeId=10001&langId=-1&catalogId=10001&categoryId=25851&catTree=25851,26140&clearance=C&cmLink=shopOutlet>baby%20girls

Update...

2008-07-14T13:23:00.003-05:00

To update -

Ryan is still pregnant, which is marvelous. She had her sonogram, and her baby is doing well. We are having a hard time getting her to follow the order to STAY OFF OF HER FEET! I told her I was going to kick her butt after she has her Daughter. I was on bed rest with Kayden, so I know the frustration, but it goes without saying that it is so worth listening!

The Jegerator is doing really well, also. They literally gave him a brand new face. I'm going to have to get used to it, because I so adored the "old" one! The only surgeries that he will need to have now will be to repair his palate. His is one handsome little guy. I'm really not sure that anyone will be able to tell really what his lip used to look like, after the swelling has subsided. It is just amazing what doctors can "fix" now. I'll have to post an updated picture today or tomorrow.

To anyone and everyone that prayed for these two people that are so special to me.. thank you. It worked. The power of prayer, as I have always known and at times forgotten, is far greater than we can ever comprehend.

On the subject of prayer... my oldest and dearest friend, Melinda, is pregnant with her first son. She will be around 33 weeks on the date of our wedding. She has told me that she isn't sure if she will be able to make it, so a good friend of mine, Kristin, is stepping-in for her as a bridesmaid. Melinda would have been my Matron-of-Honor. Her baby is having problems with his kidney function, so they, too, need all the prayer that they can get.

I'll post pictures of Kayden and her Dad at the Airhogs game on Friday.. I wish we could have gone... Kylee and I have been pretty sick for the past few days. We have some sort of dumb stomach bug that requires that you are within 10 feet of a toilet at all times... sucks....

19 days to go! wahooo!

Pray.

2008-07-09T10:11:00.004-05:00

One of my bridesmaid's, Robin, is going to become a Grandmother again, soon. Hopefully, not too soon. Please pray for her Daughter, Ryan, and her unborn Daughter. Ryan had been having contractions that were progressing her cervix. She was put on bed rest, and the contractions stopped. She had a Fetal Fibronectin test yesterday, and it came back positive. From everything that I read last night, this is terrible. 77% of women with that result will more than likely deliver in 7-10 days. Hopefully, the information that I was reading was wrong. She is only 25 weeks. She is supposed to be having a sonogram today to assess the baby. All indications are favorable that the baby, a little girl, is healthy and developing normally. But, she would have a fight if she were born now, obviously. Ryan's first son had open-heart surgery, and prayer saved his life. He is happy and healthy and beautiful.

My other bridesmaid has a son that is having surgery today. He is such a little angel. He is my Jegerator! His name is Jeg. He has double cleft palate and lip. They are repairing the right side of his lip today. The left side was repaired in a previous surgery, and it looks incredible. They need prayer also.

Every time you think about it today, pray.

This is Ryan and her son, Joshua, at our house on the 4th:

This is my Jegerator with his Mom and Dad at our house on the 4th:

VOTE FOR KYLEEEE!

2008-07-07T15:34:00.004-05:00

I entered Kylee into the "DFW's CUTEST BABY" contest on Mix 102.9. It's a great station, and they stream online, if you're interested in listening to a family-friendly "mix". Anyway, click the radio button next to "Kaylee Hall"... I emailed them and asked them to correct it, so we'll see how long that takes, but it's her! The site will send you an email to the email address that you enter at the bottom. You can vote once per email address that you have, so if you have more than one - USE THEM!!!!!!! We win a trip to Mexico, if she wins..

This is the picture:
Here is the link: http://www.mix1029.com/pages/contests/cutebaby/index-voting-2.html

One Month to Go...

2008-07-02T15:33:00.006-05:00

We have one month, until we are "official"! I am not sure whether to be nervous, excited, stressed... I'm hoping we have a decent turn-out. After having to cancel my bachelorette, because noone was coming, I'm expecting the worst. I'm usually not that pessimistic, but at this point I guess stress has taken over.

We hired Cinderella Stories to do our cakes, because my Great Aunt decided that she would rather not try to do them. She is having knee surgery a couple of weeks before the wedding, so she really isn't going to be strong enough to do it.

I'm in the process of putting the bridesmaid's gift bags together. I also have to tie ribbon on the bubbles.... oh how stressful tying a freaking bow can be! I'm actually going to have my bridesmaid Robin's daughter, Ryan, do it. She's prego with her second baby, and she is on bed rest for now. I know how frustrating bed rest can be, so I'm trying to come up with crafty things for her to do. I'm making the flip flops for the bridesmaids and myself, so I might have her help with that, as well.

So far 26 people are coming... crickets.... I hear them now...

I finally got Kylee fitted for the wedding. She looks like a little doll. She really wasn't into the whole standing still thing, but we got it done. She actually was very well behaved for it being her bed time. Kristin went with me and got fitted, as well. We had a heck of a time with David's Bridal. I had asked Kristin months ago to step in for my best friend and Matron of Honor, Melinda, in the event that she became pregnant and couldn't make the wedding. Well, she is not sure if she will be able to make it. She and her husband live in Florida. She is going to be 33 weeks pregnant with her first little angel on my wedding date. His name is Colin Ryan Smith, and bless his heart, the doctors found that he is having problems with his left kidney function. She is going to the doctor on the 22nd, I believe, and she will ask then about flying. She is a nurse, so she is well-equipped to know whether to take the risk or not. I told her if there was any risk in flying at all that I would be very upset if she made the trip. It is just so not worth it. I would love for her to be there, and it won't be the same without her. I never pictured anyone else as my Matron or Maid of Honor. I won't have one now, really, but if she makes it here, I will be ecstatic. I can't wait to see her pregnant belly. I can't wait to meet my nephew, either! Anyway, my point in rattling on was to explain the situation. When we ordered the dresses a year ago, they assured me (they, being the David's Bridal staff) that we would be able to return and/or exchange the dress if we needed to, no matter when we needed to. So, we get to the store for Kristin to get fitted, and they informed us that we would not be able to return or exchange Melinda's dress for Kristin's. Well... it was so late at that point, that I wasn't in the mood to argue, and I just wanted to get a dress ordered for Kristin and go home. It was after 10 at this point, and we had to order a different dress, because apparently my style had been discontinued. Oh, the drama. I was so tired of "issues" that I agreed to a dress that was basically the same, with just a different neckline.

At work the next day, I told Shelley (John's sister) about our ordeal. She reminded me that they had assured us that they would exchange the dress, yada yada. I'm not good at confrontation, so Shelley said she would call and get it straightened-out. Sure enough, within 10 minutes she had gotten them to agree to refund Melinda's money and order the correct dress for Kristin. Crisis averted.

So here are a couple of pictures of Kylee getting fitted.

Starting to freak out....

2008-06-19T13:06:00.003-05:00

I feel like noone is coming. We have gotten several R.S.V.P.s back from people that we felt sure wouldn't want to miss our wedding, and they are not coming. I have to blog about this, because I can't bug John about it anymore, and my Mother thinks I'm worrying too much. Um.. HELL-FREAKING-O I am the bride, and noone is coming to my wedding. We invited over 300 people and we will be hearing crickets with only 20 people showing up! It's my nightmare. We didn't invite people for gifts or any other reason. We want to have a party. It's been 6 years, two kids, a hellacious road at times, and we finally are happy and content. I just thought people would want to see that to fruition.

I'm stressed...and sad...

2008-06-16T15:44:00.004-05:00

What a great weekend...

We BBQed on Friday, and had the neighbors and Randi and Jevon over. I'm not sure what time we stayed up until, but I thought it was a good idea to drink lots of beer. I didn't think it was such a good idea on Saturday...

We registered at Home Depot on Saturday, and John was about to kill everyone. He's not the most patient of individuals, so when he found out that we had to find, write down with our actual hand and wait for the the sku to be input into the system to create the registry, I thought he was going to just scrap the whole idea. Looking for man-toys to register for helped, though. His demeanor changed pretty quickly, when we got into the power tool aisle. The girls drove us nuts, however, and Kylee just didn't understand what in the heck she needed to stay in the basket around sharp things and she just wasn't feeling the Depot vibe. We got through the ordeal, and what an ordeal it was, of taking the two of them with no naps to Home Depot. We were brave. I'm not sure that will happen again.

We had a great Father's Day, too. I'm getting John and myself tickets to Seinfeld. He's a freak about it. I think he's excited. I had texted him asking what we had planned for that weekend, and he replied, "That's the weekend Seinfeld is here.." Jackass. I can't surprise him with anything. Sunday morning Kayden was making him a card by doing handprints, and he walked in and ruined that, too. Oh, well. We spent the rest of the day at the water park down the street. Yes, down the street. It's awesome. For the four of us it was 8 dollars. We didn't have our water bill, or it would have been cheaper. Kylee was worn out after about an hour and a half. The water came up to her mid thigh in most places, so I'm sure that was difficult to walk in. I was holding her at one point, and a basket full of water a the top of the toy in the middle dumped directly on us. I'm not sure she was feeling that, either. Other than that, she walked around with her chi-chis out. She had a great time.

Babies, Wedding planning and ladybugs...

2008-05-19T14:26:00.011-05:00

I had an exhausting weekend, and the girls had a blast! We drove to College Station on Friday night and got there around 10, and the girls played until midnight with their MeMe and PaPa. I went to bed pretty soon after, because Saturday was incredibly NUTS for me!

This was my schedule:

9:00 A.M. - Meet with Ashley from the Hilton to go over the menu and take some shots of the room. I also made a mental note of the approximate location of the outlets for some of the decor. My Mom and I met "Chef", and he was very friendly. Apparently, that's what we're supposed to call him?

This was set up for Bryan High's prom...

10:45 A.M. - Autumn's shower at Traditions (Allison's Mom's house). I got there late, because I had to go and get her bouncey seat. I had intended to get her gift earlier in the week, but I was dealing with laying tile and bugs! Anyway, that is for a later time... So, I wrapped her gift in the back of my Tahoe in blazing heat, only to discovery that not only was there not a bag big enough to buy to fit the box, the wrapping paper roll was also too small! I used the entire roll, and I'm sure it looked a little strange. Oh, well. I guess it was the fact that I got it there that mattered! I am so excited to meet baby Mcewen!

12:00 P.M. - I had to have my hair done for my bridal pictures that were to be taken at the Admin building on campus. I had never heard of the place, but it was recommended by John's sister. She did exactly what I wanted her to, so I was pretty happy. I'm a little hard to please with my hair. I may hire her for the wedding, if John's cousin Amy cannot make it. I would rather Amy do everyone's hair. I thought it would be special to have her do it, but she just had back surgery, so I'm not sure what the plan is.

1:00 P.M. - I picked up my bouquet from Post Oak Florist. It was beautiful! I ordered an all-white bouquet of different varieties of white/ivory roses to add interest. There is one single red rose to signify rememberance of my Father. I will also have his class ring wired into my bouquet on my wedding day. I didn't have it done for my Bridal pictures. My bouquet is actually still alive, and it is still beautiful! My girls are going to carry mini versions of my bouquet. I can't wait to see it.

4:00 P.M. - We moved the picture time from 3 to 4, because the photographer had some things to do, and we did, also. We ran to the mall to get earrings. I had no idea, but my Mom wanted to get me whatever I wanted, so I picked out a pair that was in an "antique vintage" setting. They have one diamond in the middle with a ton of smaller diamonds around the center diamond, and another layer of diamonds facing out under that. They are hard to explain, but I saw them when I bought John's ring, and I fell in love with them. I am wearing them in my pictures. If I didn't send the link to you, email me and I will send it. I don't want to put a picture up here, in case John decides for once to read my blog. It would figure that he would want to look now!

Some interesting things happened during the picture session... A white feather to Lynda signifies that her Mother-in-Law, who is deceased, is looking down on the situation or whatever is happening at the moment. A ladybug to me is my lucky charm. When I found out that I was going to have Kylee, I picked out a ladybug theme right away, and I have adopted that as my good luck charm. I have never seen more ladybugs in my life since. During the session, I saw three feathers flying around, as did Lynda. When I was sitting by the tree, a beautiful little ladybug crawled up onto the bottom of my dress and she just sat there. It was also raining every so slightly on and off. I don't know how many more signs that were significant to us we could have seen, but it seemed like everyone was trying to tell us something... I think the raindrops were my Dad in a way :-) There was also a crazy squirrel that sat next to me for a little while and he seemed to want to hang out...
The pictures were done around 5:45, and I came back to Joel and Lynda's and was exhausted! I think I first tried to go to bed around 7:00, and that didn't work. I tried again at like 8:30. No luck. I don't remember when I finally went to bed, but I slept soundly all night. Kylee had already been up for a while at 7:45 when I woke up on Sunday, and I hadn't even heard her playing with Lynda. My mind is starting to work overtime in anticipation for our wedding. I had no idea really how much time we DIDN'T have, until we started planning the remaining weekends out and what we still needed to do with them. We don't have a whole lot of time.

We went to the park on Sunday morning, and I would have put Kayden in a cuter outfit, had I known that I was going to take so many pictures...

I took a nap on Sunday, because I had a bunch of dental work last month, and I got a peanut stuck in the open socket of one of my wisdom teeth that had to be cut out. I had to have it packed four times, and it still gives me trouble. Apparently, it takes six months to heal. Eating mashed potatoes and soup is getting really old, but it's better than digging a peanut out of an open socket. Oh, well, if that's the worst that I have to deal with, then I'm doing pretty well...

Next week is Nicole's 13th birthday, so we will be in town again for that, and we will probably try to find time to meet with the music director at the church. So much to do, and so little time. I have to work on Memorial Day, which is disappointing. Our friend Matt is getting married on Monday, so I will only be able to make the rehearsal. The cool thing is our rehearsal will be at the same location, so we can get an early preview. The bad thing is that I have to leave right after. I took two days off when I had to keep Kayden home last week. I took one vacation day and I have to make up the other by working on Monday. I need all the time that I can scrounge to take off for the honeymoon. Cancun here we come!

A year ago Friday...

2008-04-26T03:36:00.006-05:00

Next year, we are going to decore much more...

This was her favorite toy.

We welcomed our second little angel into this world. I can't believe it has already been a year. I remember thinking I was pregnant, taking the test, confirming the suspicion, running across the street and telling my friend Robin, and telling John when he got home during a light drizzle that we were going to have another baby.

The short of it... really...

Kylee's pregnancy was uneventful and easy, comparatively speaking. Unfortunately, Kayden's pregnancy was not the most enjoyable. With Kylee we were able to relax. Unlike during Kayden's pregnancy, we now had a house, jobs and we had settled-in to the most wonderful life, and it has since only gotten better each day.

I went into labor two nights before I was to be induced. I was folding clothes on the floor, and we started counting contractions. They were erratic, so we went to bed. I woke up at about six on the morning of the 25th to active labor contractions, and informed John that we were going to need to "do something" with Kayden, because Kylee was on the way. I decided to sit in the tub for a minute to see if they would subside, since I was to be induced the next day, but they only got more intense the more I relaxed. She was on her way! I wish we had taken a picture of what we had dressed Kayden in that morning for school. I'm sure it would have been a sight to see. Jodie, the assistant director of the center, could see me through the glass front door in my Tahoe during my contractions, while John was taking his sweet time taking Kayden inside. I think she was just as excited as we were. The cool thing is to think that she saw me in labor with Kylee, and yesterday morning was the first other than me to tell her happy first birthday... pretty neat. Anyway, my doctor is about an hour away with moderate traffic. She delivered Kayden, and I love her. She was my doctor when we were in school, thus the reason for the distance... BUT a good OB is like a good girlfriend... hard to find and worth every effort to keep. John ran every red light and went around every line of traffic we encountered. I was on the phone with my dear friend Robin that was in between laughing at me and calming me down, because I would hand the phone off during contractions to John, and then I would get back on the phone and chat with her between them. I was a five by the time we got to the hospital, and they took a decade to find all the dumb paperwork thatI needed to sign to get my epidural. My water broke before they administered it, which I didn't experience with Kayden. I was induced because of high blood pressure with her. By the time I was given my epidural, I was about a six, and I had sweat through my clothes and John hadn't been allowed to go and get a cigarette, so he was pacing.

She finally graced us with her presence about 8 hours later, and she flew out with one push. The nurse had me try to push once and then stopped me. My OB came running in, and Kylee had been blocking part of the bag of waters, so she gave everyone a shower. They all actually laughed. The epidural hadn't worked on my right side, until they had given me a third bolus, so it was almost a full twelve hours afterwards, before I was able to use my left leg. I had feeling back in the right almost immediately, but the left was spaghetti haha.

She has been the most gentle and happy little soul you can imagine. She is always smiling and laughing, even though she STILL does not have a single tooth in her little head; bless her heart. And no, the doctor is still not worried in the least about that, she tells me. She's an Aggie, so I just have to believe her :-).

Wish of Wellness and raunchy chimps

2008-04-21T16:29:00.007-05:00

My company had a booth around the track at Relay for Life in Saginaw this past Friday. The entire event raised over $100,000 dollars. Sarah, who works for me on my team, is pictured below in the purple "Survivor" shirt.

My Mom also has squamous cell carcinoma on her head. My good friend Kristen came and sat with me until midnight, when I weenied-out. It was COLD! We went back home and tried out our "floozie koozies" that we bought at one of the booths around the track. Sitting in the garage drinking beer was how the night ended...

Saturday was pretty uneventful. I was lazy after the long night on Friday, so I took a nap. John ended up staying up late, and the girls and I went to bed early. We had to go to the zoo on Sunday for Kayden's friend R.J.'s 4th birthday party.

Kayden, Kylee and I took off to Target on Sunday morning to get R.J. a present. We ended up with Cars stuff. I have no idea what in the world to buy a boy. We tried our best! We came home and washed the truck and I cut John's hair. We finally made it out to the zoo at about 2:30, and the party was at 3. We took about 400 pictures, naturally, and the kids wore themselves out running all over the place. That was the first time that I had been to the zoo with the girls, so it was really really fun. I think it was probably only the third or fourth time in my life I had been to the zoo period. I think the chimps were my favorite.

R.J. and Kayden in front of the glass part of the primate exibit. This silverback was beautiful.

There was a guy that was teasing one of the chimps, and in return the chimp kept giving him the finger and sticking his butt up in the air. He also kept throwing his arms in the air at the guy and kicking in the air towards him. It was pretty funny to watch. Who knew you had to censor the actions of the animals at the zoo?!?

The chimps acting crazy.

Kylee and Mommy in front of the elephants.

2008-04-08T11:47:00.006-05:00

It has been forever and EVER since I have posted... I've been in a funk at work, simply because people disappoint me. I have seen a shady side of some co-workers that I wish I had never seen. ANYWAY...

We had a good weekend. We went over to "Jevon and Randi's House", and he really has found "the" keeper. We love her, and we really love them together. I think she won Kayden over immediately, and Jevon even became more in-touch with his paternal side around Kylee. Apparently, she woke up in the middle of the night, when he went in their room to pee or something, and she was in her pack 'n play in there. He comforted her and rubbed her tummy to put her back to sleep... too cute...

We adults had a good time, too. They cooked steaks and chicken for everyone (i.e. Ry, Kellie, Byron and Whitney, and John and me.) We drank beer until God knows how long and played Cranium. Some of the highlights were when Whitney had to act out a vibrator, and John sculpted (to lead me to correctly guess) a wedding cake and bowling ball....it was funny. All he had to do was make the dumb pillars that he wants in between the layers, and I guessed it. As many heated debates as we have had about those stupid things, and as many nightmares as I have had about my wedding turning into a tribute to the Go-Gos and Michael Jackson.. who knows.. maybe that would be RAD DUDE!! ... uh, just kidding..

Kylee playing in the yard at Randi and Jevon's house..

Kayden and Randi swinging on the hammock... Kayden wanted to wear her "pretty dress" to their house, and everyone thought it was cute. I think John was surprised that I let her wear a play dress, but I didn't think twice... My Mom never would have let me wear play clothes anywhere, and she would have brought hair spray and a brush to boot.... I left the hair brush and hair spray at home....

2008-03-27T19:10:00.003-05:00

I'm in a unique and challenging situation in my life. I know someone (not anyone that is family) that has lied to my face numerous times. This person knows that they are lying and knows that I know that. The interesting part is that I have to assume that this person is telling me the truth. I know that I am being slightly vague, but I have to be. I need to vent, and at the same time I feel like I'm in a movie listening to this person talk. I didn't realize how vile people could be, until I was faced with situations in which in an instant someone can come up with a lie to talk their way out of something. It amazes me that people can be so good at lying.... Doesn't it eat them up inside to be so dishonest? I feel like karma is going to strike me down, when I even tell white lies, and I feel like I would end up like the street guy in Ghost being carried away by transparent demon-like things to the depths of hell. Seriously. I think everything ends up coming full-circle at some point in your life.

I guess I'm just frustrated. To sum up the rambling... There is an individual that I have caught in numerous lies in the past couple of days that I have to deal with on a daily basis. I chose not to take action against this person in the hopes that this is just some sort of rebellion against a stressful environment. Others know that this person is lying, and it would be my call to take action. I choose not to, simply because I would feel badly about any negative action that I pursued. Oh lordy, long story...

Personally, I can't stand liars. Liars make me sick. Give them enough rope I say. I'll post pictures of the girls later, and add more cheerful commentary. When am I going to win the lottery, so that I don't have to participate in adult daycare? grr

Engagement Pictures!!

2008-03-16T13:38:00.010-05:00

We finally got our engagement pictures done! We went to the Gaylord Texan, which is beautiful inside. I am completely in love with the Spanish architecture in the atrium. If you ever pass through Grapevine, I think it is well-worth visiting. The hotel rates are high of course, but there are four or five restaraunts, some shops and a spa all within the resort. Anyway, it was recommended that we take them there by our photographer, so kudos to Chris! I loved it!

Here are a few from the shoot. We literally took hundreds, so these are some of the ones that both of us had on our LONG list to narrow down for prints...

waiting for John to change...
I liked this doorway and I really wanted to get it in the picture... not quite the effect I was hoping for, but it is still nice...

We both love the colors in this one.

The doors behind us were enormously heavy Spanish doors, and I really liked them obviously. We have a ton of pictures in front of them.

I have to say that I adore this shot. I think this is my favorite, and this might be the best picture that we have ever taken.

Time is flying...

2008-03-04T13:54:00.002-06:00

So Kylee is now walking with her push-toy. We got her ears pierced, and we turned her around and put her in Kayden's seat. We got Kayden a big girl princess seat. It's pink with gold crowns and "Princess" ALL over it. I will post pictures tonight, and I will also add video of Kylee walking....

They are so growing up...

Kylee poops.

2008-02-17T09:51:00.003-06:00

So, it's been a sluggish couple of days. We had the pleasure of Leo and his new girlfriend's company on Friday night. We had too much fun. I'm not sure if SHE did, but I can say that I entertained myself, anyway. I know John had a good time. He's easy - all you have to do is add alcohol and shake a little, and he's good-to-go. We had a few drinks over here and then moved across the street to the Thomases to play pool. It's nice to have adult company, even if we have four sleeping kiddos collectively somewhere in the house. Kayden didn't take to Leo at all, but Kylee loved him. He says that Kylee is "his girl" :-) I'm sure she's going to grow up loving her Uncle Leo. I think it's pretty neat that John and Leo have known eachother from a couple years older than Kayden is now, and they are just about as close to brothers as you can get. Leo is a really great guy. He's the best man at our wedding. I told him that as long as he gets John there, and I can't smell the alcohol, he's done his job ;-) I'm not worried. I also reminded him that he will be wearing purple, and he said he had come to terms with that. Pretty funny. It's not too bad for them. The color is actually a light lilac, and they will perfectly match the bridesmaids. I tried to get a good smile out of him, but it was like pulling teeth, and he was a little sauced, so here's what we came up with...We spent the day yesterday "resting" (i.e. nursing a hangover), and the weather was perfect for it. It rained all day and was crappy. I left the house only to go and pick up a half pound of Starbucks, and I came back and hibernated. The girls seemed to need the rest, too. They napped all day, right along with us.
Then there was this morning...
John and I are odd. We can poop three to four times a day. Not joking. I'm sure that's too much information, but there is a reason.. Kylee can do the same thing. So, my Kylee Ray alarm clock started going off about 7:30 this morning.. I had already given her another bottle at 5, and she seemed satisfied and went back to sleep at that point. So, I drug myself off of the couch (I can't sleep with John. He kicks and saws down forests.), and I opened the door to the most God-awful stench... it registered before I saw what it was... POOP-O-RAMA! The scene would have made a Dad lose the previous day's dinner. She was covered in poop. From head to toe. Looked like she had eaten a chocolate chip cookie. Her diaper had come off from being so full. So, I went into sterilization mode. I snatched her out of the poop box, and plopped her stinky heiny in the bathtub and turned the water on. She was none too happy, but I think I soaped her down at least three times, and I even rinsed her mouth out. Ew. Her skin was pink and she was playing by the time I was done with her. She was looking at me like, "why all the fuss Mom, I was bored!". Ew. Again. Thank GOD for steam washers with a sanitary cycle. I tossed around the idea of just chucking all of the contents of the poop box, but I only threw away the bottle that was in there. I'm on the second wash in the sanitary cycle with bleach and an extra rinse. We'll see if it lives up to poop. Kayden did that once, so I wasn't shocked, but I don't think that is ever something you get used to. Obviously.

So, Miss Kylee is learning new tricks every moment. She is now walking with mommy, and I don't think it will be long before she starts pushing her two push-toys. She pulls up on any and everything, so I think she'll be a pro before she turns 1. Oh, and she's also clapping. Very cute. I'll have to catch all of that today, when she gets up from her nap. Adios for now.

I'm a slacker

2008-02-12T10:33:00.001-06:00

So, I have been doing some SERIOUS slacking in the Blogger department. I hate excuses, so it has nothing to do with the fact that I have two very mobile and spirited children under the age of four, a career and boss that ignores the existence of said children and a wedding that is inching ever so close and gaining momentum all the while.. oh, AND it is taking control of my finances... WHEW... I'm just sayin'...

Anyway - I have to say a humongous public prayer and acknowledge my new Mommy Hero. The owner of the daycare (Endless Discoveries) that Kayden and Kylee go to just delivered a baby boy by c-section, after 48 hours of labor at home without drugs. I'm not sure of the details as of yet, but I do know that both of them are fine and recovering. I went walking with her mom and her on Saturday afternoon, and she went into labor Saturday night at midnight. Kayden didn't want to walk, so I carried her the whole mile-and-a-half or so. I couldn't really complain, as Kristin was TWELVE DAYS OVERDUE by that point. It was actually a pretty good workout.

I have to say that I only experienced being dilated to a six without an epidural. I know I would be strong enough to "do" 48 hours, but I would NEVER, and I mean NEVER want to. So, mentally there is no way. I can only speak for myself to say that she is a stronger woman than I am. I can assume that most women would say the same.

Other than that excitement, we have had some of our own! Kylee pulled up this morning on one of her toys. I didn't run to get the camera; I just watched. She was looking out the doorway to see if I was watching, but she didn't look high enough, or she would have seen me. She has been slow to really care much about crawling, pulling up, etc. She has the cutest "commando crawl" that I have ever seen! I haven't been worried in the least. I have come to learn that the best thing to do it sit back and watch them. They grow up way too fast, so the longer I can keep her "little", the better. Kayden was walking by this point. She took her first steps at 9 months old. The picture to the right is at 8 months, and she also had teeth. (Kylee has yet to have one emerge).. The picture to the left is of the first time she pulled up on March 25th 2005. After that, my little baby disappeared. I thought I would take my time with Kylee. Every moment is so precious.

Here are a few pictures of the last few weeks.

My Mom brought this kitchen to Kayden this past Saturday. It does a bunch of cool stuff like make water sounds, the microwave dings and it asks her what she's cooking. John's Mom bought her one for Christmas last year, but back to the "little" thing.. she has outgrown it already. I put it in the corner of the kitchen for Kylee, and this new one went in Kayden's room. Now, they both have kitchens!

John and "Uncle Jevon"... We finally left our house last Friday and went out with Jevon and, I swear, his future wife. He gave Kylee kisses, when we got home... such a sweetie.

Kylee is my Ladybug. She is always the happiest little soul.

I don't do NAPS!

2008-01-16T09:49:00.000-06:00

When you get to work and you make the first pot of coffee, and the toilet seats are still up.. you know you get there early...

Anyway, I am getting so excited about the wedding. I think once the countdown reached the "6 months and something" mark, I developed butterflies. I sent Save the Date magnets out, and apparently some of them arrived a little damaged. Well, the actual magnet was not damaged, but the envelope was. Maybe I can borrow that from Karma, and that will be the only thing that goes wrong throughout this whole process.... I wish.... We have a workshop to go to on Saturday at the church.

I know this post isn't incredibly interesting, but I just wanted to say "Hi" really and post this picture...

Nudie awards, but John watched the water

2008-01-14T12:15:00.000-06:00

John recorded this for me in Vegas. He was there on business, and they kept all of them really busy. The nudie awards were there this weekend!

A look back in time...

2008-01-09T13:04:00.000-06:00

Kayden was 23 months old in this video. I just found it, and I laughed until I cried. I'll show it to her and update with her reaction. She is just now grasping the fact that yes, she too was once a baby :-)

2008-01-06T19:51:00.000-06:00

Daddy came home today from tree watching. His hunting season this year consisted of taking pictures of my Grandmother's donkey, the leaves changing and raccoons. OH - my bad, I think he got a picture of a bobcat... I think...

Anyway, he came back from tree watching, and we all went to the park with Kayden's friend Skylar. Skylar lives across the street, and her parents are our friends, too. We have a GREAT street, by the way. I think we might qualify as neighbor snobs. We have the BEST.

I took my camera, kids and determination to the park. A friend that I used to work with shot some awesome film pictures of Kayden, when she was about eighteen months old. I thought I would take my digital in black and white mode for a spin to see if I could get the same effect. I think I got some great shots, although I am so green at this. The goal, and yes there is one, is to have a wall decorated with the most beautiful black and white shots of the girls that I can possibly muster.

This was the first stab at that...

Daddy took her down the slide.

Such a trusting little face.

The ONLY time that I could catch her, before she ran from me!

Uh, excuse me, I'm trying to swing here, people..

You'll have to speak with my agent.

Super Sports Action Mode! It works!

Kayden's friend Skylar. This was my favorite of her.

I seee youuu.

My favorite.

Cookie Commentary....

2008-01-05T20:22:00.000-06:00

I film the majority upright... no need to adjust your screen :-)

You make 'em, you eat 'em.

2008-01-05T20:08:00.000-06:00

Kayden made cookies for the first time. I hope she is starting to remember stuff that we do together, like this.

She's such a big girl.

And we haaave...

2008-01-05T11:22:00.000-06:00

LIFTOFF!!!!!!!!

I was washing dishes this morning, and looked up to see Miss Kylee on her knees! I rushed to get my camera, stubbed my toe and hurriedly switched the mode to the super action sport mode. Gotta be sure that you catch all the super fast crawling action! There wasn't much movement, other than bouncing back and forth. BUT, if memory serves me correctly, it won't be any time, until we have MOTION! Look out, Kayden, Kylee's on the move!

happy freaking new year

2008-01-01T01:57:00.000-06:00

2007-12-30T17:42:00.000-06:00

OREOS ARE THE BEST!!!!!! I was eating oreos and she grabbed one.... I think the picture says it all...

The sweetest words...

2007-12-29T08:40:00.000-06:00

and I heard them this morning... Kylee said "Ma Ma", when I was feeding her breakfast...

Camera

2007-12-28T15:07:00.000-06:00

I got a new one, and I'm fired-up...

Get ready for TONS of pictures!!!!!!!!

Less than an hour to go...

2007-12-25T23:05:00.000-06:00

And both of my girls are in their beds.. .present enough. The fire is crackling, the tree is still on and I feel cozy. I wish John didn't snore...

We have had an unbelievably blessed year. We have two beautiful Daughters that couldn't be more spoiled. Ithink about the people that are outside in the cold right now, and I wish I could help them all. There is a couple that appear to be in their fifties that I see on my way to work every day. I wonder if they are warm or if they have children that wonder how they are. The man wears a reflective vest, which I presume is to keep them from getting hit while crossing the street. That is all I ever see them doing. This time of year I wish I had enough to give to all of them. All I can do is wish them enough, and pray that God will somehow take care of the rest.

I hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas. Kiss your babies if you have them, and say a prayer for the less fortunate. I only hope that one day I can do more...

Love. Good night.

2007-12-21T11:04:00.000-06:00

I can't wait until Kylee can do this.,..

I am uploading pictures from my laptop to Picasa and downloading them to my Mom's new laptop, and I came across my adoreable little baby playing in the mud. I think I might just play with her next year...

2007-12-21T08:59:00.000-06:00

A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's rest-room stall.
By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker.

He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished
the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but
never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the
rest-room. If you'd been one of the ladies in the rest-room that evening, this is what
you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the
potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what
are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom
when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they
all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl,
Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see
doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh .. Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat
is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a
screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting
embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you
can find some candy. We"ll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this
point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making
me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!"

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed
the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: "OK.
There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that
those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone."

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies!
Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What
were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?"

More laughter.

I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He
started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want
to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door,
and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall,
all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment,
then I thought, "Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed
away every bit of my dignity and privacy?"

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap
between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known
as Mommy to this little fellow.

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in
Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public restrooms)

Supermom is relative...

2007-12-17T11:58:00.000-06:00

Well.. that is sort of the question. Last week, my V.P. and I had a "heated" but controlled discussion about an issue that was facing our team. At one point that day, he had tried to find me and couldn't. The people on our team that I manage know that if I am not at my desk, then I am pumping. I take my laptop with me and answer emails immediately. The V.P. usually knows this, but because he's hyper and a little ADD, it frustrated him that he needed to talk to me and didn't want to knock on the door to interrupt. Emailing would mean sitting down and stopping motion... that's hard to accomplish as hyper as he is. IT is a crazy world. SO, I starting thinking that my pumping was starting to become an "issue". He said not to use work as an excuse at all, BUT it's life... I think every pumping career Mom has to face this relative impasse. If I weren't in Management, I think I would be able to continue at the pumping pace that I am going - no problem. The fact that I am on the Management team requires me to be as accessible as I possibly can at all times. Seems it should work the other way, but it doesn't. Kylee needs to start making the transition to more solids anyway, so I have decided to at least cut my production in half. I'm pretty sad about it, but I am just exhausted every day.

Kayden is starting to become a Mommy's girl, and Kylee is of course very high-maintenance right now, so I need all the energy that I can get. Hopefully, I can replace the milk with solid food for her (at least half of it), and I won't necessarily have to put her on formula. Nothing wrong with formula, but if I don't have to buy anything else, that makes all the difference. I have noticed that my body is trying to lose weight, and I am becoming more run-down. It started doing this at about 8 months with Kayden. The only difference with Kayden was that my production dramatically decreased at 8 months, so it was a little easier to make the argument to myself that it was o.k. This time, I think I just have to realize that I'm not the supermom that I want to be. I would love to have two kiddos under 4, have a full time Management job, pump every three hours, work out every day and keep a pristine house, all while making sure that my third adult "child" is happy, BUT - I'm just not sure I can do it all. I think I'll have more energy if I at least cut my production in half, and I will for sure feel more freedom. The key to all of it is doing it and not getting sick again. Other than that, I think it will be more emotional for me than for her..... ANYWAY
We had the Harms' Christmas this weekend. It's pretty cool that this was my last year as a wanna-be. We had a great time, and the girls played so much. Kylee was an angel and everyone loved her :-) Here are some pictures from the weekend:

We were riding in the back of Shelley's Tahoe, and Papa drove everyone and the kids to go see Santa's Wonderland.

This is the car that we are going to use to drive between our church and reception during our wedding!

Aunt Shell got Kayden a new basketball goal to play with OUTSIDE...

Kayden drove us all around Santa's Wonderland. She's a GREAT driver! She didn't run us off of the road or hit the lights or anything!

2007-11-12T12:29:00.000-06:00

So this weekend was interesting... We got to CS on Friday, and everything was just peachy. On Saturday morning, John went hunting and Kayden, Kylee and I woke up pretty early at Meme's house. So, Kayden started throwing up around 8 in the morning, but she didn't have a fever, and after freaking-out a little, she acted fine. We then took her to McDonald's, and we were going to swing by Party Time Rental to check out the chair covers that I want for the wedding.

Exhibit 1 - Tearing-up McDonald's

We were headed to Party Time, and Kayden lost what little sausage she ate :-( Other than being freaked-out again and grossed-out, she was fine. She didn't have a fever, and Kylee was smiling through the whole ordeal. I took her car seat completely apart and hosed it down, and I took Lynda's car and cleaned it out.

Kayden ended up falling asleep that night at her Aunt Shell's house at about 5:30 (so we hear), and waking up at 3 A.M. crying to come back to Meme's.

As for John and me... we went to dinner and drank a couple of margaritas. We were celebrating 5 years of being together, and we really needed just to have a date night to ourselves. With no relatives in our area, it's really hard to catch a break. We always have a good time by ourselves, but really don't get too many opportunities to just talk... it was nice to say the least.

Before we left for dinner, my pump broke. Those that breastfeed can empathize with how big of a disaster this could have been. I was on the floor milking myself into a bottle for about 45 minutes right before we left hahaha... The only dangerous thing about that (other than the fact that I have a weapon, should John say anything that I don't like lol) is that when you literally milk yourself, there is the potential to damage breast tissue. From my stint in the hospital, I learned that when you do that, you can actually cause mastitis. Long story short, we stopped by Wal-mart to get a hand pump to hold me over until I could call Medela and see what they would do for me. I ended up buying another pump yesterday, called Medela today, and they are going to send me an unopened pump to take back to the store to get reimbursed. Whew... they really are expensive, but worth every penny. It's just nice to not have to pay for it twice!

Here is a picture of us before we went to dinner...

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-11-01T11:56:00.001-05:00

My Prayer for You...

2007-10-24T09:14:00.001-05:00

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.

2007-10-21T03:29:00.000-05:00

The girls and Robert went to a birthday party this weekend at some place that I forgot what the name was.... not important... it had the standard huge room of bounce houses and the archaic putt putt course...

Here are a few pictures of our little adventure. Kylee had a good time, too. We all came home and crashed - mission accomplished!

Davenport Reunion

2007-10-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

We went to my family reunion this weekend for all of my relatives that live from Milano to Bryan. The girls had a good time, but they are (as we are) happy to be home!

Picking the girls up from school on Friday..

My little readers!

At the reunion.....

2007-10-07T09:32:00.000-05:00

WHAT A GAME!!
Check out the littlest fan I know..

And NEXT will be her first car....

2007-10-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

Here are the first pictures of her sitting up all by herself! She had some bumper pillows next to her, but she was supporting herself, and we have been sitting up all day long! Next thing I know, John will have her climbing the stop sign and racing other 3 year olds everywhere... man, how they grow and change so fast. I really have never met a happier little being, and she is just so purely sweet. Her sister and Daddy are hunting this weekend... I wish they were here to see this!